If Time Stands Still

42- heart on his sleeve

"You and me got differences, why you on some different shit?"

~

Zayn's POV

After gathering the motivation to get myself out of the car, I stare blankly ahead as I saunter towards the complex and then into the lift. With my back rested against the tinted glass, I let out a breath before looking back at the screen where that message is still displayed.

I can't believe my eyes. If she thinks that a break would solve anything, man, is she wrong. It could only make things worse. I have to know what she's thinking, because I don't see this ending well at all.

Once I'm on my floor, I give her a call which she picks up just as I enter my apartment, "What do you mean a break?" I shut the door behind me, phone between my cheek and shoulder as I hold my dinner in one hand and lock the door with the other.

"A break from this. It'll be good for us."

"Don't give me that." I scoff, "Us? I don't want this, Aylin."

"Fine, I need space." She clarifies what I already knew she meant, but it doesn't hurt any less, "But it would be best for both of us."

"Better than talking things out?"

"How can we when you continue to push me when I tell you I'm not ready to talk yet?"

"It was one time." I lay back on my couch, pinching the bridge of my nose, "What the hell is a break going to do for us?"

"It'll help us think things through." She insists.

"What is there to think about!? For me, it's nothing. I just want to sort things out so we can stop this shït." I pause, "What's there to think about Aylin?"

I hear her sigh, "I can't do this right now. I'm at work, like I told you."

"Do I not deserve an explanation?" I run my hand through my hair frustratedly, "I don't want a break."

"Well, I do." She insists, "It's not permanent, Zayn."

I know I can't change her mind at this point. She's as stubborn as I am once our mind is set on something. If I continue to push, she might shut me out further. I swallow hard, dreading this 'break' already.

"What does a break entail then?" I ask in attempt to cooperate for my own sake.

"We don't see each other and we minimize contact for now." She says simply, "That's it.""

Another punch in the gut. My eyes land on the delicious Indian food I just bought, but my appetite seems to have vanished. We won't see each other, nor would we talk. That seems an awful lot like she's distancing herself.

"It gives us time to reflect." She adds.

"Reflect on what exactly?" I frown.

"On what we want."

My frown deepens, "I know what I want. It's a no-brainer for me."

"Zayn, I want to be with you too, but think deeper than that."

"How is this so easy for you?"

"Who said it is?" She questions, "It just seems necessary for my own sanity at this point. I feel overwhelmed and it just keeps piling on."

"So why not talk to me about it then and there?" I throw my hands up, careful as to not let my voice raise or my tone slip, even though I'm seething, "It's that simple. It wouldn't have amounted to this."