I sit on a chair with my head down.
It's been about a week since they allowed visitors.
I still haven't visited him, I can't find the courage to.
My head starts to hurt.
"I hate hospitals." I say to myself.
The smell reminds me of death and disease, and occasionally disability. the halls are creepy and the silence bugs me.
The silence forces me to reflect on life, my choices, my mistakes.
Makes me overthink about little, unimportant things in my life.
Like how I should've picked the strawberry flavored ice cream instead of the pecan nut one in first grade because I was allergic to pecans.
"I hate hospitals." I repeat to myself.
"You hate hospitals enough to say twice?" I hear someone say behind me.
I jump up and look to see who it is.
"Ashton, what the hell! You scared me!" I yell as I hit his arm.
"Ouch..." Ashton says as he rubs his arm.
I stare up at his face and glare.
Ashton eventually stops rubbing his arm and lowers his head so our eyes are leveled.
"Go." He says.
I stare at him, acting like I'm confused. I know what he's talking about. He wants me to visit Luke.
"Where?" I ask.
Ashton sighs,"you know where, Mae."
He nods his head in the direction Luke's room is.
I sigh and break our eye contact. I sit back and take out my phone.
Ashton stands up straight and throws his arms up in the air.
"Come on! Even your parents saw him!" He groans.
I don't budge. I hold back.
Ashton starts to wiggle and complain.
I look at him and roll my eyes.
He points his fingers out at me.
"See! You're not even being yourself! You never roll your eyes!" He shouts.
"Ashton shut up its a hospital waiting room for Christ sake!" I shout back.
Ashton closes his mouth, looks around then sits on the chair next to me.
"Mae, come on. Let's go see Luke, eh? Why do you even come to hospital everyday if you're just gonna leave without even seeing his face? You're not getting anything out of coming to the hospital you know that?"
"Well duh... but how can I face him, Ashton? It's my fault that Luke is even in this building! How can I go into that room when he's just going to ask who this girl is? He's not going to remember my face? I can't handle that! The best I can do is sit in the same building."
Ashton just stares at me.
"What?" I say.
He takes my wrist and starts pulling me down the hall, towards Luke.
