I was wrong to think that you deserved me. I was wrong to think you wanted me the way I wanted to be wanted. I wasn't surprised when you disappointed me, it had only been about the hundredth time. I was just desperate for you to deserve me. To want me. To see in me what I thought I saw in you.
The only thing you've been successful in making me feel lately; is disappointment. But these feelings were expected from you, you've never done anything but.
Hope can be a dangerous thing. I had hoped for you to not disappoint me, so when you did, I was hurt more than if I just wouldn't have hoped for you at all. I couldn't help but hope for you. Hope that you'd want me, even just a little bit. I'd take whatever you threw at me, just an ounce of your attention. So when you disappointed me...again... it made none of it worth it. To have changed what I wanted, to give you what you wanted, hurt so much more. Because I had hoped that you would want it too, that it'd be worth it. You didn't. And it wasn't.
YOU ARE READING
The difficulty of letting go
PuisiWhen writing this, my only purpose was to try and let go all of the terrible things I was feeling. It wasn't made to be read by anyone, it was only created as a way for me to let go.
