Life changing - Miniminter and Talia Mar Fanfiction

I - Wireless

Wireless Festival 2017

Everything in the world around me felt blurred. My mind had blocked it all out. I could still hear and see all the people around me, the stage, the music, the mid afternoon sky. But this state had become a normal part of day to day life so it wasn't jarring. The world still played out like it normally would, but my mind focused on my thoughts. I hated thinking about what was wrong and the negative thoughts I had, because it made me feel ungrateful for...well everything. I had great friends, 3 of which I lived in a freaking mansion with, the best job in the world, the Sidemen, my family, all of it. I just can't help myself just thinking about the bad things. I honestly don't know how, if I do, manage to hide how i'm feeling so well. No one ever seems to think anythings wrong. I try to act confident and over the years it's half merged with my anxiety to form this weird awkward but not kinda personality. 

"Sim...n"

"Simon"

"SIMON"

Reality hit again and my thoughts retreated.

I looked around the corner of the VIP area we had claimed as ours, looking side to side as I got my bearings for a brief second. I saw Josh and Vik in front of me, Harry and Chip being...well the special people they are while Cal[lux] kinda just watched on, then Freya, Gee, Katie and Sarah together in their own lil circle to our side. Tobi had disappeared like he normally does 20 mins ago to search for a friend who was finishing working.

Josh: turning around "Simon, You alright? You just sorta went blank and stopped functioning for a bit "

He chuckled a bit after saying this, Freya looked round at the sound of Josh's voice joining in with a half giggle. 

"nah i'm good" I replied, sort of not remembering myself why I was so dazed even though I was well accustomed to that experience.

Josh: "Is somebody a bit lonely?" He questioned sounding mostly sarcastic with a hint of genuine concern.

"I'm always lonely" I played along sounding as falsely sad as possible to not let on that I kinda actually was. "Nah I'm just a bit exhausted y'know, i'm gonna go get a drink. Want one?"

Josh: "Sure ill come" Turning to Freya "Freya do you want another cider?"

Freya: "yes please babe"

Josh walks over and we make our way side by side to one of the pop up bar tents. The VIP area was pretty full but it was about 5 or 6 in the afternoon so people were all in groups rather than spending time at the bar. 

Josh: "So somethings up with you then, come on" 

"What do you mean, I never said anything" I reply defensively, But Josh probably out of everyone besides Tobi could read me the best and had clocked something was up.

Josh: "You keep doing that" he continued

"Doing what" I knew he would wear me down quickly but I thought to just pass it off and maybe he'd drop it.

Josh: "Simon, you can't hide what your thinking forever, either you tell me now or ill get an off his head Harry to smack it out of you"

I turn round and laughed as I spot Harry tackling Vik 30m behind us.

Josh: "Is it something, someone, or what? You've done this at the house at times too, I just pretend not to notice"

"Fuck it fine, IDK Josh, Shits just going on in my head" I kinda just blurted out.

Josh: "Like what?" 

It felt like he was genuinely intrigued and cared about what I was thinking

"I'm not sure, I think things that haven't effected me over time have just kinda built up"

I didn't even think before I opened my mouth, My thoughts just came off my tongue. I guess I finally needed to tell someone and Josh would be one of the people I could confide in so him asking just made me spill it.

We reached the bar and leaned against the work top then turned to face our friends and the stage across the other side of the field.

Bar tender: "can I get you 2 anything?"

Josh: "2 mixed fruit Kopparbergs cheers mate"

"I'll have another one too and a bottle of water thanks" 

As the guy behind the bar got our drinks from the fridges behind the bar, Josh continued to ask about what was going on

Josh: "Is this just because we're all here with our girlfriends and you're on your own?"

Somehow he'd managed to finally word what my mind had been thinking for the past day, and on his first guess.

"pftt ummm" I tilted my head down from a little bit of embarrassment  "I don't know Josh"

Josh: "yea you do, and I'm right aint I"

"Yea, you are" I finally admitted

Josh: "Look, I know you, now you're not gonna go off and be whiny about how you don't have a girlfriend. But that doesn't mean you should just accept it and pretend things are alright with the rest of us"

Our drinks got placed in front of us and Josh scanned his apple pay before I could even get my wallet or phone out.

Josh: "Don't worry about that" he said as he picked up his and Freya's cider "you can get the next lot"

"alright" I agreed as I opened the cap on my water and took a gulp to satisfy my dry throat 

Josh: "Now are you gonna be alright for the rest of the time while we're here and we can talk about this when we get home in 2 days" 

"Ill be alright Don't worry"

. . .