Love

Memories

Taehyung dropped off Jimin, It was silent drive but they both needed to process everything. 

Jimin needed to process that he just saw his crush for the first time in years, and Taehyung well...he needed to process that they mentioned his ex. He hasn't talked about his ex for years. Yes, he may have thought about him but never actually spoken about him nor had he said his name let alone hear it. 

Once Taehyung got home he just went straight to the guest  room. Yup not his room the guest room, why? Because his girlfriend might be in their room and he wasn't in the mood to hear her complaints on not getting enough money.  

He threw himself on the bed on his back after locking the door, he stared up at the ceiling. 

The silence was not helping him the way he wanted, instead it helped him remember.

 Remember the memories, remember the most happiest times in his life.... remembered how he ruined it.  

His chest tightened, he brought his arm to cover his eyes...and he let go. He thought about him too much today. He needed this. He needed to cry it all out. 

The quiet room was now filled with small sobs. He clenched on his shirt with his other hand.  

It hurts, his heart hurts. 

"Taehyung-what?"  He didn't look at him. He couldn't. In stead he looked at the wood floor in his room. 

"Its over." He whispered,  he grabs  his shirt. It was silent. Taehyung hoped that he would run out the door and let him cry, but he didn't hear any movement. Instead he felt his arms being grabbed and pulled and was met with a chest. He looked up by instinct, and he wished he didn't, it only made it harder. He stared at his lovers eyes, how it showed so many emotions. 

"You don't want to do this." He was pleading, and it made it to Taehyung heart but he didn't act on it. He pushed him away it made him stumble a bit as he was pushed away making him let go of Taehyung's arms.  He looked back down. 

"Yes, I do." He spoke louder than before.  He pulled his arms to his chest. He was trying so hard not to cry, they both were. 

"Why? Did I do something wrong? Taehyung please tell me, I could change it." he did nothing wrong. 

"No." 

"Then why? Did you find someone else- I'll be better than them. Just give me some tim-" 

 "NO." He was getting frustrated. "You did nothing wrong, I just... I just don't want to be gay." 

It was deadly silent.  

"What?" Tears were already flowing down his cheeks. 

"I don't want to be gay, My parents are going to hate me if I tell them." 

"Tae If they loved you they would accept it or at least try to accept for the sake of their son." He shook his head. 

"My dad talked about how much he hated LGBTQ community today...I don't want my dad to hate me."  His voice cracked at the end. THe thought of his parents hating him was unbearable to think of.  He loved his parents, even though his father didn't show it that much he still loved him. 

"Tae-" 

"Your lucky you don't have parents you have to confess to!" Once those words left his mouth he automatically regret it. He slowly looked up. His eyes were wide staring at Taehyung but it soon turned into a harsh glare. 

"You're right, I am lucky. I'm lucky I didn't grow up to have parents. I'm lucky that i've never felt the love of my parents . I'm lucky i've never seen my parent let alone know their names. I'm lucky that I had to grow up in the stupid foster care system for all my life because no one wanted a helpless little boy as their son. Yea Taehyung, i'm sooo lucky I was rejected by my parents."  Now Taehyung wasn't the only one who was crying. It was quiet, only their unsteady breathes were heard. It surprised Taehyung to see him cry, he never cried in front of him the only time he did cry  was when Taehyung said yes to his confession. 

But soon, Y/n had enough. He grabbed his coat that was on Taehyung's bed and walked to Taehyung  bedroom door. He turned the door knob. 

"I'm lucky that the only person that I have ever loved has now left me." He left after that, slamming the door and slamming the other door meaning he left.  And Taehyung, he let go all of the emotions he was  holding in. He fell to the ground, on his knees. His sobs got louder and he started to cry out. He shouldn't have said that. 

But he thought 'it's better this way, i'll get rid of these feeling and he'll find someone else' But the thought of him being happy with someone else only made his chest tighten even more. 

Taehyung was a wreck for 2 whole months. He didn't eat that much,he didn't leave his room. He didn't sleep as much as he needed. Every time he tried to sleep he could only have a dream about Y/n. One time he did try to go to school but once he saw a glance of Y/n, he couldn't do it anymore, he ran straight home and cried. I mean you can't blame him, he was young and Y/n was his first for everything. 

For Y/n, this only made his depression worse. He did go to school, but no one knew what he did when he got to his shared room with the other foster kid. Yes, he did self harm but if you ask him it's not a big deal. He's used to it and yes he's thought about killing himself but at least he never went through it.  Y/n did have his break downs but he got through it maybe not the best way but he still did. He wanted to forget about Taehyung so he hooked up with people, boy or girl it didn't matter. He would admit that it's not the best way to forget your ex lover. Did it work? hell no.  

It's been three years since they spoken to each other, but that doesn't mean they never thought about one another.

"I need to move on" he whispered. He sits up from the bed he started to wipe the tears  in his eyes and cheeks. "It's been three years get over it." he says to himself. He takes deep breaths to calm himself, he stands up and goes to the bathroom to wash his face.  

"So he works there." He looks out the window to see the beautiful view, his back facing the guy on the couch. 

"Yup, I still remember his face." He brings the cup of wine to his lips. He takes a gulp. "Kim Taehyung, right?" 

~~~

Sorry for not posting that much (I say this so much), but I.... I can't think of ideas for my books. Yea, I suck. I mean I am busy with school and everything (god, I hate homework). 

I do want to post for My Two Hybrids, My Crazy Rich Boyfriend AND Together , but....I have nothing. I did write some things down but i'm not proud of it so I might just delete it (Not the story just the chapter im working on). Also I have 2 new book ideas but I don't want to post them because then You guys might like it and I might not be able to post as much as I want or as much as you guys want (and then i'll feel like a total shit, more than I already do) So i'll wait until the the time is right. 

Oh, and if you guys want to give Ideas (for any of the books) then I'm happy to add them to the story (You don't have to). It might help me know what to write.  

Alright that's it. Bye. 

(Oh and I hope you guys liked the chapter)