Warriors ⎜ John Wick

Duodecim

Several hours had passed since that morning and the day was quickly nearing its end as grey clouds rolled in from the horizon with the promise of rain.

For much of the day Jessica had paced back and forth in her room, trying desperately to figure out what she could possibly say to John. She didn't want to stop him - she knew it was far too late for that. But to be perfectly honest she didn't think that it would be right to do so. The man whom she had come to care for was trying to avenge an invaluable gift that was ripped from him by cowards and that was not something she could fault him for.

Instead she wanted to pick up the pieces of a man who was broken and try to put them back together. She wanted to breathe life back into his soul and show him what happiness is and that even to him it is obtainable.

Now Jessica had to pray that he would let her.

She had no desire to replace his wife. She knew she could never come close to that. But after these last few days she found herself terrified that he would never walk back through those doors and command the attention of the entire lobby. This only strengthened her desire to prove to him that there is a life worth living and that she could be the one to guide him to it.

As the hours had passed and John failed to make an appearance Jessica grew worried. The pit from this morning only grew and nearly engulfed her entire being as her mind was taken over by what-ifs and scenarios that all ended horribly. She jumped when a gentle knock sounded through the door.

Her heart raced at the possibility of finding another unwelcome guest on the other side of the door but it skipped several beats when her sweaty palm found a decent grip on the door knob and revealed a beaten John. If she hadn't been around him so much for the past few days and glimpsed his vulnerabilities she wouldn't have been able to tell that he was exhausted or that he was hurting. But she could tell by the way he walked into the room and turned around to look at her, finally bringing his gaze up from the floor.

When his dark eyes gathered her appearance they softened and his shoulders sagged almost imperceptibly. 

Jessica decided that her chance was now and wrapped her arms around John's neck, tugging him down several inches until their faces were buried into the other's shoulder. John shockingly relaxed into her hold and wrapped his arms around her waist, finally letting himself breathe and allowing the weight of the world to roll off of his shoulders. 

Jessica pulled back and moved her hands to his cheeks, gently grazing the cuts, both new and old.

"I'm so sorry." She was apologizing for everything. For the night before. For not trusting him. For his wife. For not being able to help. "You don't deserve any of this. None of this was your fault."

John opened his mouth to object but Jessica quickly shushed him. "Winston told me about Helen."

John stiffened and tried to pull himself away from the red head but her hands moved to his shoulders and her grip tightened. "There is nothing that you could have done." Her voice softened to a whisper. "I know what it's like to lose someone and to feel so powerless when you do. But that's because we are. We are powerless. We can't control everything. We can hardly control what happens in our own lives. But we do have control over what we do in the aftermath. I didn't know Helen and I know that I will never come close to comparing with her, but I would have wanted you to find happiness and live the life I didn't get to and I think that's what she would have wanted for you too."

Tears were gathering in John's eyes, blurring the deep brown as his brow creased and Jessica noticed the slightest tremor in his chin.

"I want to be there to help you. When you're ready."