Dream Me a Sonatine

9 - Murdered/Remembered

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide mention/description. Please don't read if you'll get hurt by this!

The roller disco was bursting at the seams. Crowds lingered in every corner, chatting and drinking as their feet spun and skidded beneath them. Electronic music blasted throughout the room, ear-splitting and melodious. It was ugly and it was beautiful.

Sooyoung glided to the centre of the rink, the world around her flashing in yellows and blues and reds. As she skated, a few people high-fived her, some gave her respectful nods, and some gave her envious scowls.

Sooyoung spun round. 'Come on, Jiwoo, they're waiting for us!'

Jiwoo edged forward, legs shaking like those of a new-born lamb. Her arms flailed clumsily, but there was a resolute expression on her face. Eventually, she caught up to Sooyoung, brushing her fringe out of her eyes.

'I'm a natural,' she announced.

'You're a dork,' said Sooyoung.

A green-haired figure in the middle of the rink waved. Sooyoung waved back and her bandmates rolled towards them on green and red and yellow flashing skates.

'Salut, Soo!' shouted Morgane.

'Hi, Morgane.' Sooyoung gave her a fleeting hug as the other two skated over. 'Hey, Noémie, hey Juliette.' Noémie winked. Juliette gave her a small smile.

'Is this your new chérie, Sooyoung?' Juliette pulled one of Noémie's dark curls. 'Ow! I was just asking!'

Sooyoung said, mildly flustered, 'No, she's my friend. The one who runs the confectionary, remember?'

'The one with the—'

'The one with the chewy macarons, yes,' said Jiwoo, exhaling. 'Jeez, I make pastries too, you could give them a chance.'

Morgane gave Sooyoung a not-so-subtle nod. 'I like this one.'

Sooyoung coughed. 'Are we going, or...? Jiwoo can't learn to skate on her own.'

Juliette and Noémie linked arms with Jiwoo and the five of them set off round the rink. Electronic drums pounded, stuttering in and out of rhythm with Sooyoung's heartbeat. She momentarily closed her eyes, letting her body move and her mind waver. The roller disco was the only place that loosened her rigid thoughts and aching muscles. Like a swan upon a lake, she glided freely across the glassy floor, forcing her unwanted thoughts away.

The thoughts swam lethargically in a corner of her mind. Her past was a complicated one, not one she wanted to remember. Not because she'd been hurt, but because she'd hurt somebody else, leaving a guilt heavier than the sky on her shoulders. It changed her, weakened her to breaking point. So, somewhere along the line, False-Sooyoung had taken her place. A façade.

She opened her eyes. False-Sooyoung didn't want to think about those things now. A nearby whoop of laughter dragged her mind to the present.

Jiwoo was laughing, sprawled on the floor. Sooyoung watched her as she giggled, her smile so big it could encompass the entire universe.

'Jiwoo took a bit of a tumble!' yelled Noémie, switching to Korean, perhaps out of courtesy for Jiwoo.

Jiwoo said, between laughs, 'It was a graceful and unique dance move. Made up three seconds ago by me. Also — you guys speak Korean? That's great, it's hard to learn! I never heard you sing in Korean at gigs!'

The music pulsed loudly, but Sooyoung only heard muffled beats, as if cotton had been shoved inside her ears.

'We... things didn't go as planned,' said Morgane shortly. She spoke French once more. Juliette toed the floor with her rollerblade.