Stepping on my plain white bathroom scale, I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the obnoxiously large number that's sure to appear on the mini digital window. Coward, I think, You can't even deal with your own fatass self. I slowly crack one eye open, just enough to see the number.
What I see nearly drives me to tears.
103 lbs.
103 fucking pounds? How did I gain that much in a period of 24 hours? This makes me want to eat even less, although I don't know why that would change. I love the empty feeling in my stomach when I lay in bed, counting the days since my last meal off on my fingers. I'm a freak. Feeling full literally makes me sick to my stomach. Sighing, I step off if the scale, daring to steal a glance at my nearly naked form in the mirror.
All I can see is fat, fat everywhere. Chubby legs, belly rolls, a layer of squishiness everywhere. I jerk my head away from the mirror, not willing to stare at my reflection any longer. I shuffle over to my bed, grabbing a random Pierce The Veil shirt and black skinnies. I glance at the mirror one more time, only to check my hair. Grabbing a brush from the bathroom counter I attempt to tame the mess of burgundy frizz that is my hair. Sighing in defeat, I give up and throw a beanie on over the tangled mess. There. At least now I look halfway presentable. I shove my iPod and phone in my pocket, checking and double checking that my earbuds were in there also. Who knows what I would do without music. Die? Yeah. Probably. I glance at the clock. Shit! It's 7:20 and if I miss the bus my stepdad will kill me. I go as fast as my empty body will take me, grabbing my book bag and making it down stairs in under two minutes. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I step into the kitchen. My mom is sitting at the table with her head laying on her school books, sleeping soundly. I sigh. She must've had another late night between school and her new job. Careful not to make any noise, I kiss her on the forehead, whispering my goodbyes even though I know she can't hear me. I press play on my iPod, turning it up loud enough that I couldn't hear anything else. If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens comes on. I smile.
How the hell did you ever pick me, honestly, I could sing you a song. But I don't think words could express your beauty.
YOU ARE READING
Stealing Stars
Novela JuvenilCollette is lost... Struggling with depression, bulimia and anorexia, she thinks that all hope is lost. But when she makes friends with the new student, her perspective on life changes completely.
