THE SAGE'S DeCLASSIFIED SURVIVAL GUIDE (FOR DUDES AND DUDETTES)

Depression

Depression is not sad songs
and poems, isolation, being quite and
shutting yourself from the world,
it's not purple bruises stretching
viciously up your arms or drowning
yourself in the bath each and
every passing night, cheap cigarettes
and alcohol, late night lonely walks,
or vacant coffee shops

Depression is being in the brink
of something you can't describe,
your mind plummeting into less,
and lesser light, into a darkness beyond
measure, running empty before
you can even let the tears out,
melting into soundless oblivion,
falling with not even a branch to
grab on to, sinking, with not even
a life raft to hold on to, drowning
in an ocean of negative emotions

Depression is being in a world
where even the sunshine feels cold
it's that sense of de ja vu, sweeping
over you, everytime you look at the
mirror over that porcelain sink, your head
heavy and shoulders shaking, eyes
reddened, as ghosts from your past
parade around you like a merry-go-round
silent as a grave roll in steady procession
it's being engulfed in hopelessness
and desolation

Depression is being
unable to wake up in the morning,
unwashed clothes, flaking skin,
and over eating, that feeling of not
feeling good about yourself or taking
pride in your appearance, empty
inboxes, wishing people could
hit you up or something, it's those
bursts of anger, sadness and loss
of sanity, a feeling of disgust
within yourself that makes you want
to tear off your skin just so you
can feel clean, it's losing weight,
long baths and showers that last til late
it's wishing you were not you but
someone else, looking at the mirror
and not even recognising the reflection
staring back

See depression it's more than
just what you see on the surface
it's deeper than that, deeper
than even the word itself