USUK/UKUS One Shots

Under the Table (Lemon- UsUk)

Warnings: Sexual content, current events

Summary: America gets a little bored during a world meeting and decides to entertain himself. Or, rather, entertain England.

Word count: 2,280

Estimated read time: 7 minutes

The fan spun above the meeting table as the nations sat around it. Its breeze was not appreciated due to the already low temperature in the room. The only ones that appeared to be unaffected were the Northernmost countries. 

"That is ridiculous," Ludwig protested. "If we don't do something, there will be a global downturn. Do you know what kind of effect that will have on Latin America?" 

"He's right," Antonio joined. "China, America, your trade war has to stop." 

Yao crossed his arms indignantly. "I'm not doing anything wrong! It's all America's fault, as usual." 

Alfred scowled. "No, it's not! Your trading practices are completely unfair and I'm sick of all your intellectual property theft." 

"Not true! You know what? I'm going to put a tariff on-" 

"Stop!" Kiku demanded. "Your bickering will get us nowhere." 

"Hey, Japan, do you want to make a trade deal?" 

"No, make a deal with me!" Yao interjected. "Come on, we're closer anyway." 

Feliciano meekly raised his hand. "Can we talk about the toxic dust outbreaks in my country? Please?" 

"Yeah, we need to get rid of all the steelworks factories. China, can you make the steel?" Lovino asked. 

"As if I don't have enough air pollution problems to worry about already! And none of you are helping! Do you know how many people have died? 400,000! But all you care about is throwing all the manufacturing work at me." 

"That's not true," Ivan argued. 

"Oh, yes it is. Hey, England, you never manufacture anything. Why don't you pick up some of the work?" 

Arthur ran a hand through his hair. "You know very well that Parliament is still suspended. Besides, I have enough to worry about with Brexit." 

"And whose fault is that?" Francis grumbled. 

"Shut up, you frog!" 

The meeting erupted into chaos, everyone yelling at each other and accusing. Lately, the world had been a mess. I mean, sure, it was always a mess, but at least they communicated well. Now? Not so much. 

"Everyone, quiet!" Ludwig screamed above the noise, silencing the room. "You're acting like children." 

"Sorry, Germany," Feliciano said. 

"It's alright, Italy. You know what? Let's come back to this and just talk about individual issues for a while, hmm?" 

The nations nodded in agreement. That typically didn't end in any fights. 

"Italy, would you like to go first?" Ludwig offered. 

Feliciano sprang up. "Sure! This morning, I had a great lunch. I had pasta and tomatoes and some-" 

"No, no, you're supposed to tell us about national issues you want advice on." 

"Oh. Well, my government completely broke down. And there's the toxic dust... and the coastguard killed some migrants so that's not good... and, hmm... oh, tax evasion is on the rise."