USUK/UKUS One Shots

Do You Even Love Me? (Angst, Part 3)

Warnings: Strong language, a lot of angst, implied sexual content, Coronavirus (physical distancing, guys)

Summary: America also copes with the aftermath of leaving England. He does a much better job than England. Also, Mattie is there so we get some brother bonding.

Word count: 4,575

Estimated read time: 25 minutes and this is only part three of four. Including this chapter, the rest of the series is estimated to take 35 minutes. Make good decisions regarding sleep, guys.

"AMERICA!" England screamed, voice cracking. 

The front door shut. 

America released a breath he didn't know he was holding. It came out shaky and unsure and he realized that his whole body was trembling- his knees felt like they were going to give out at a moment's notice.

What was he going to do now? Where was he going to go?

Part of him begged him to turn around, go back inside and wipe away England's tears, kissing him and apologizing a thousand times over. But a slightly louder part knew that he couldn't do that. 

So he put one foot in front of the other and walked down the sidewalk and driveway to the car. Then, he paused. Driving. He was in no mental state to drive. What if he wrecked? Even if he would likely be okay and certainly survive, he could kill a human. 

He'd have to walk. But where? 

Canada's house wasn't far. He should go there. Duh, obviously- his brother's. That was where he needed to go. 

Disoriented, he started going North. He didn't remember most of the walk. It was all a haze. He was pretty sure a lady walking her dog stopped and asked him if he was alright, but he didn't respond. 

America rang Canada's doorbell and a few moments later, his brother opened the door. 

He looked at America and his eyes widened. His brother had a destroyed look in his eyes, disheveled clothes, and when he looked at Matthew, it felt like he was only half there, as if he were in a world of his own. 

"America?" Canada asked, startled.

"Can I come in?" 

Nodding, he opened the door wider. "Of course you can. Are you okay?" 

That was a stupid question. Clearly, he wasn't, but Canada wanted to hear what America said. 

"No." He stepped inside and Canada noticed he didn't have shoes on. 

He'd always say he was fine. Even after some of the greatest tragedies his country faced, he'd always say he was alright, even if Canada knew that wasn't true. 

"Go sit down on the couch," Canada instructed as he went to his kitchen to make some hot chocolate. That always made America feel better and he'd often said that Canada's hot cocoa was the best he'd ever had. 

America did, wringing his hands distractedly and trying to calm down. 

The kitchen and living room were right next to each other and didn't have a wall dividing them, so Canada was able to keep an eye on him and ask, "What happened?" 

"I, uh, I broke up with England." 

Canada sighed heavily. America had been talking about their issues for a while now. He'd advised America to do what was best for himself, which was likely walking away. But that was at least three weeks ago, so this came as a surprise. 

He poured the hot beverage into two mugs, bringing one to America and sitting down on the couch beside him. "Why?" 

America took a sip of his drink. "I just... snapped. He was just talking about how I never put my shoes away and then I burst and started yelling and I- I don't really know."