City of The Pretty Warlock

Confiding

I knew I was risking a lot. So why did I do it? Why did I tell him? My mind was spinning so fast, and I was starting to feel nauseous. I felt myself paling after I had said it, but it was too late to take back, seeing as his expression had changed dramatically. What would he think of me being gay? I don't think it would bother him that much considering his usual behavior and attire. He must have seen me having a silent panic attack because he immediately started thinking of something to say.

"Don't mean to disappoint you, but Jace can't see anyone but Clary at this moment," Magnus said.

"I know," I sighed, shaking my head. My heart thought it was ok to keep breaking, but my mind knew I couldn't take much more.

There was a pause of silence, and then Magnus spoke up.

"Don't worry. He's just too stupid to notice you. He wouldn't deserve you anyway," he said solemnly. Who knew that such a flamboyant and enthusiastic person could be so concerned? He did sound concerned. 

"Are you scared?" he asked, genuine concern displayed on his face and in his words.

"Scared for what?" I reply, despite already having an idea of what he was going to say.

"Scared about the rest of the shadowhunter community judging you for being gay," he said quietly, as if he was scared I would freak out. I had been thinking about this for quite a while; I really don't think my family would approve of my decision. Except for Izzy. I had already told her, and she had been so supportive, I have actually started to believe that the majority of the shadowhunters would accept me. That stopped the moment he said what he said.

"I don't know. I guess I am, but I'm probably not going to tell anyone for a while now," I sighed. I still couldn't help wondering why I was telling him all this. He seemed pretty trustworthy, but who knows? He could just betray me.

"You can't keep hiding. You know that right? They're eventually going to find out," he says. "But please don't feel pressured to come out if you're not ready." I sighed at his words. He suddenly stood up and walked over to where I was sitting. In an instant, he was seated right next to me, staring intently as I twisted my hands together. i refused to look at him, fearing that I would break down if I did. He shifted a little closer.

"Hey, I want you to know that you can trust me. Okay? I'm here for you," he said, his voice soft.

"Okay," I muttered. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, being occasionally interrupted by his cat walking in and out. After a while, Chairman Meow jumped up onto the couch, setting himself on my lap. I laughed as my hand instinctively shot out to pet him; it's only natural to pet a cat when there is a cat to pet. It took me a minute before I was able to stop my giggles, still smiling like an idiot at the cat on my lap. All my previous efforts to control my laughter suddenly broke, and I burst out laughing again. 

"Why are you laughing? You're making me laugh too," Magnus said, giggling slightly.

"I don't even know! I just love cats," I said, causing Magnus to laugh even harder. 

The Chairman eventually got annoyed with our constant laughing, jumping off my lap as we tried to stop laughing. After a couple of minutes, we were able to stop our giggling, sitting in silence and just enjoying each others' company. I glanced at the clock, noticing I had been here for about two hours. 

"I should probably go now. Thanks for everything. This was really fun," I mumbled, standing up. I began walking toward the door when Magnus stood up.

"Yeah, it was. I'll text you," he said as I walked out. I turned back to say goodbye, jumping a little when I saw that he was quickly moving toward me, his arms open. He hugged me tightly, muttering a goodbye before letting me go. I couldn't help the smile that crept up on my face as I turned away, practically skipping as I heard the door close. I walked all the way home with a lopsided grin on my face, pausing a little when I reached the doors of the Institute. I immediately walked up to my room, flopping on the bed and pulling out my phone. 

Thanks for tonight

His response was almost instantaneous.

No problemo, it was fun having you around :)

I sighed as I typed back a response, the smile from just a few minutes earlier creeping back on my face as I kept texting Magnus. It felt good to have someone to talk to.

It felt good knowing I could confide in him.