Those Morrison Days

3. Wish You were Here

We were out on a date and the full moon was our chaperone that watched over us. You were there with me as we gazed up at the little glimmers of possibilities. Hand in hand, we rebels knew it was past our curfew in this cool night.

I asked you what you thought about the red star above with a few silvery blue orbs next to it. Being a youth, I figured it would be something silly like a sour cherry.

Christmas was your answer. The colors reminded you of the fir tree just getting started on being decorated. You even told me it's your favorite holiday for the family get-togethers. Though, no matter how many years of time and festivities pass, yours doesn't seem to get together. Despite this, a glimmer of hope still shines in your own starry eyes that they'll see the value of being together as we have. Though, there was a creeping sense of doubt as well that seemed to have metastasized overtime.

My gloved hand gently squeezed around yours. I made the promise that our family line would never have to be divided. We would belt out jolly carols and gather 'round the shimmering tree. Memories we would cherish into our retired days would be bountiful.

You smiled at that, telling me a family of our own would be magnificent.

We kissed for the first time.

The only trouble is that a promise needs someone to be a benefactor. Fate was a sadistic plotter that next week. As we walked together down a quiet road, what you last saw were two erratic bright lights. We tried to reach for each other to get away but our fingers slipped.

Crushed. Broken. Twisted. The car's lights displayed your limp agony. No matter how much comfort I tried to aid you with, you never came back.

My eyes met the drowsy driver's. In an indescribable rage that still haunts me to this day, I can't recall what I've done. My memory does know that I hunched over the man on the road with a bloodied first. His face had only begun to deform into a bloody mess. It took my strongest conscious to pull me aside before he was next in line for the afterlife.

The police took me home that night despite my protests. I wanted to be at your side at the hospital, so that if you were still among us, the thought of loneliness would never have to occur. At least that despair would never have to be familiar unlike the rest of us.

Each night I've been restless and uneasy. My dreams are haunted by that sudden night but only there do we live to see tomorrow together. Every time I go to celebrate that we made it out alive, I only embrace reality's disappointment.

Waking up to a nagging alarm each day has never been more of an objective. The weight of this grief hangs with me even beyond my bedroom. A mere toothbrush became a dumbbell and meals were a hassle to keep down.

I know you watch over me with every full moon and there's no doubt that you're ashamed of the mess I've become. No matter how much pleading I beg, every night is the same for my spirit: Crushed, broken, and twisted.

When winter crept in and Christmas Eve rolled in, I could tell you were by my side again through my window. I wrote you a card, in hopes of finding just an ounce of solace for once. They say no one should be alone on this day after all.

My dear Emma,

After everything we had kindled together, fate plucked it all with one rip. Each and every day I miss you and what could have been. I still watch up at the night sky for you, and perhaps you're leaning on my shoulder as I write this. The burden of your loss has never been easy on me but I've slowly been coming to accept what reality has dictated. I promise for you, that I will straighten my act because I'm sure it hurts you just the same to see me this way.

Wish you were here ~ Jayce

I placed the card on my nightstand and slept what little I could for the night.

When morning came, I reread what I wrote. Perhaps I missed something but instead, something was at the bottom. It used the same red ink of the pen I wrote with.

I only want the best for you as you would for me. Know that you are never alone. Give those you love the same care you gave me, as we'll never know when fate will take them.

~ Emma