THE AGE OF LOVE

CHAPTER 7

I am here, awake and recovering after 2 long weeks of intense workout , i am back home surrounded by my plants and so familiar cozy place, physically I am independent already but mentally and emotionally I am a terrible mess.
Doc.Dragomir had tried in the first week to guide me in to the normal world by long sessions of therapy and also the dreams had stopped due to the medications he is giving to me.
I guess he is trying to suppress my dreams and visions of Demir ,just enough to make me recover a bit.
In all this time my new friends are all around me giving the support I need including the long leave i got from library to can recover enough.
With their help i can feel i have a reason to carry on and don't give myself into pain nor reach again the need to step in, the eternal darkness. Mara specially she didn't move away from me it was amazing to know her by my side instead of my mother which she doesn't know about anything what's going on, somehow ,i want to protect her from everything ,oh ,my beautiful mother i miss her so much now .
Other help that i am getting is from Mister Vladimir which every day after library he is reading me poems and great works of art ,and as usual with his red rose on display trying to keep my fragile mind busy ,he is just a pedant man ,a true aristocrat of the world .
Sensing that my inner demons are tamed but still struggling to take over my mind ,Mister Lupescu arranged for me a place in the south of old Romania ,near my mother's birth place in hope that i can find my way to sanity and the strength to come again to the real life and to not be dependent on medications ever again.

Monastery Argat ,Gorj Country 29,November 1999

They all agree we must travel to this magnificent place, a spiritual land called ARGAT monastery(argat=ancient soldier in romanian), were just monks are allowed to live there ,but some how Mara's long time friend was the priest of the place and allowed us to stay there for a while ,so Mister.Lupescu had everything arranged for all of us to travel early in the morning.
We all are ready to reach the monastery, the road is not that much boring as i predicted, in contrary the view was magnificent and breathtaking.
From one side to the other the nature is at her best ,painting her beauty of late fogy autumn with a strange combination of dark green and golden touch creating waves of colors as if the sunset just fall from the sky right onto the safety hands of the old branches of this stoic trees,  illuminating the deep dark secrets of the hills .
Now we can see how the batches of forest lands are creating shapes of mystery creatures by the ways they  grow,while the road deepens even more in to the valley .
Watching the atmosphere in the chill of the morning is out of this world, the sun rays are penetrating like spears the full valley making ways thruout the hills which gradually they becomes larger ,rockier and taller.
With their picks reaching to the clouds they are resembling with an army of soldiers which are guarding and serving as shelters to the few houses and the monastery itself, in case of any invasion or an ambush.
The imensity of trees are intertwined by the morning light creating the ilusion of angel wings ,always moving into atmosphere.
From time to time small rocks are falling down disturbed by rabits and dears.
At the bottom of this mirific hills covered in a dark green blanket a crystalline river is running frenetically and is cutting the mountain in two making a passage of access to the monastery.
The time is still and quiet ,the nature at her glory ,except the thoughts and the inner battles which i carry with me and this feeling of missing ,this longing for the one i love ,this need of knowing the truths about my life ,this addiction for the amazing smell of old books and mud which i have it in me and near me every where i go ,is alluring me to just know it ,that only belongs to Demir.
Suddenly i am pulled out from my thoughts and feelings by a distant voice of Mara:
-Ana, we are here!!!!she said a bit uncomfortable.
-Look ,they are waiting for us!!says Mst.Vladimir with a mocking smile.
-Well ,that's a first even for you old friend!!said Mstr.Lupescu with no care.
As i got out the car i was shocked by the view in front of me ,a place of such a beauty that my green eyes never seen before .
There where 2 enormous doors attached togheder and near them another smaller door, tined from one side to another by a pure white brick fence encrusted with iron crosses ,serving to mark the territory belonging to the monastery .
The doors were made by heavy natural wood carved and shaped manually by some skilled local artists ,the wood must be brought from the forest itself with a lot of sacrifices by the human hands, their deep maroon color reminds me of the wild honey .
The symbols sculpted on the doors is a history it self, shapes of vine leaves hanging on the  juicy grapes ,branches from the tree of life rising from the center and blending in to the lateral pillars showing that only nature becomes  the life itself .
Carved and encrusted on the middle of one door was half of a sun with his rays as spears and on the other door was a crescent moon all this giving you the view of mystery and sacred knowledge wrapped in spiritually.
For security  the top of the doors was made also by huge wooden grill which is same as a prison bars and above them was a rooftop coloured green similar  as the forest in spring, enough to create a shelter for the long years they endured.
In front of the doors are the 3 monks ,with their traditional black dresses are waiting for us with the eyes fixed on the ground murmuring in a whisper words of an ancient prayer.
-Good day for you ,kind people!!!We were expecting you to arrive earlier before our morning prayers!!???the oldest monk said in a kind way making his bear move ,while others 2 they didn't move their eyes from the ground .
-Good day for you too brothers ,we are sorry but the traffic was catastrophic!!!said Mister. Vladimir!!
We all were waiting for them just to give us the permission to enter.
The oldest monk was looking to us in a tensed manner, with his gray eyes as the sky before rain, penetrated in to the deepest corner of our souls ,the power emanated from them was creating an invisible shield impossible to break by anyone, human or not.
After he finished his eyes check he focused on the ground again ,meanwhile the other 2 monks were moving their visions from the ground  on us ,and their eyes was so beautiful and serene you could have lost in their kindness and never wanting to come back from wherever they may take you.
Full price of 3 minutes we all stayed in a weird silence, but by a gesture of slightly bowing their heads they allow us to go inside.
We all bowed our heads too in welcoming and let them lead the way to our few days shelter.
Before stepping inside the old monk said in a firm and knowing manner:
-We all know what you are, you can't fool us ,we let you step in to this holy ground because of her! This place is sacred, so control yourself!
-Of ,of ,course respected father, our instincts, consume us ,only in the dark nights of our souls, but our conscience is pure, you can feel that!!!!said Mister.Lupescu with a slight shame on his face.
-And we all trust to be saved one day!!said Mister Vladimir with a little nervousness in his tone.
-Ah, my child as for you, you can stay in the old house ,i know you can't step inside of the church!!!said the monk looking to Mister Vladimir.
-Don't you know better, father??I didn't come here with the intention to burn myself nor this divine place!!!said our M.Vladimir fixing his eyes on the monk.
-You may enter in Argat ,today!!!said the monk, with a knowing look.
-Thank you father, will just be a brief staying, just for few days, as we agreed!!!said Mara in a kind voice.
-As for you sister, you are not allowed to show any kinds of your gifts!!!he said to Mara and she bowed her head in agreement and not daring to look to him.
-Well you Sir , you are allowed to stay in our regal chamber, i guess, you won't come inside the church even if you want!!!You're welcome to join us anytime , you have noble blood after all and you represent a symbol!!!In a long ago Romania!!!the monk said to Doc. D looking deep in to his eyes.
-Now father, the purpose of our visit is different one ,let's not forget it!!!said Doc.D in a noble manner and in a lower tone,while keepinghis regular silence.
-As for you dear child, feel free to stay in the church as much as you feel!!!You need it!!!the monk said looking to me so kind and so serene as if he is like a honey on a dry wound.
-Thank you father you're so kind with me ,with us ,i already started to like being in here!!!i said with full of my heart ,i really felt ,well ,is like coming home.
-Oh my child ,you are at home!!Will HOPE AND BELIEVE, for you to find your answers!!!he said in a powerful voice.
-Amen!!!they all 3 said in one voice.
-And the thing following her steps ,we can see it and feel him!!You know he can't come inside ,he will wait here at the gates!!!the monk said to Doc.D, while pointing to the  empty void of my left side.
-You're other foreign friend is already here ,he went to explore the village, he will,, fly back" latter!!monk said to Doc.D, but also for all of us to here it too ,then Doc.D make a small gesture in understanding his words about the ,,flying back"" moment.
-Maybe is for the best he can't come inside ,she needs to be clear minded!!!Doc.D said while all the monks approved.
Now all being said the elder monk raised his right hand and unites the big finger with the inelar finger and make then a liniar symbol in to the air sign we got the blessing to step inside.
With profund silence  we start following the  monks while leading the way to the old house situated to the far corner of the land.
We reached to our given place which was build as a simple romanian country style, painted walls  in full white ,with big windows from where you can see this green fresh plants with red flowers specially for this season .
The beautiful arrange gardens were a place you find the nature at her home and a small part of forest brought in front of the church and the old house.
We occupied our humble rooms ,which was decorated with just one bed covered with white linen , near the window was placed a small mahoni colored table from wood completed with 2 chairs and on the top of it was a silver tray holding one big mud cup field with fresh cold water, in front of the bed was an old chimney were a small fire was already being started ,the room was simple but so comfortable and peaceful .
Once i have reached to the bed i started to feel an overwhelming sleep and an easiness i never felt in all my life ,the power of the place ,his purity and strong air of the nature makes me fall right in to the wings of sleep, without any power to control it and for the first time in my life I feel ,,at peace".
I wake up and the room was lighted by a gas lamp placed near an icon representing the biblical crucifixion story.
Given the shadows dancing on the walls and the reduce of fier , indicates that is already late in the night and I started to were my clothes and i went outside to search for the others.
Once i reached in the garden was as if i stepped right in to a fairy tale ;dozens of candles and oil lamps were illuminating the place being the only source of light in here, creating this feeling of an old dream ,with fireflies rumoring and playing in to the atmosphere trying to reach to the highest pics .
In the silence of the night i can here the sussur of the river which it was like a black ribbon wrapping the entire valley.
From time to time due to the cold air, small snow flakes start pouring  from the dark sky ,making an amazing, breathtaking night ahead.
I start heading slowly to reach the entrance of the church , the full path was decorated with white small stones and fragrance plants and was illuminated by felinars which made the church and the angels painted on the white walls look like a real presence of soldiers ,which made it to be ,a real fortress of faith, now i understand at best her name,,Argat " monastery.
While moving forward i had this sudden feeling i was not alone ,footsteps was to be heard following me, i suddenly turned my head ,i looked around the garden and the front door ,but nothing to be seen then i made another step to continue my walk but again nothing to be seen ,just a sudden wind blow.
It was as if the winds of a bird landing on to the solid ground which makes all  the candles to almost stop burning and the small snow flakes gather themselves in a moving cercal ,but again no one to be seen, just felt.
Lead by the instinct of protection and in complete fear i started hurrying my steps to the entrance of the church itself to take shelter ,while feeling how my blood raised true my veins.
Then at  once from complete void, a dark siluet appeared from out of nowhere frizzing me in panic ,i simply couldn't move anymore ,then i just stood still.
The siluet belonged to a middle aged man ,lean body ,wearing an elegant expensive black suite ,covered with this black cape reaching until his knees folded under his neck kept in to a golden pin representing a raven .
With every time he made a step towards me it felt like the cape itself was dancing around him ,with full silver hair which is reaching down to the shoulders was covered by a big black hat.
His white bear is hiding this thin lips which are holding a knowing and confident smirk .
With every step he made to approach me the fear took over my senses and i started to tremble and feel my legs giving up on me and suddenly i fall on my knee's not able to control it.
In an instant he was near me ,touching my hair ,grabbing my shoulder and he left my chin up looking directly in to my eyes.
-Good evening, little girl!!!You must be Ana Constantin ,the one i travel for!!!!he said in a grave tone.
-I am Matei Corvin from Corvin family ,at you're service ,i guess!!!I hope you worth the trouble!!!!he said looking deeper in to my eyes in a dangerous way.
I couldn't say anything, my lips were moving but no sound could possibly come out, this man presence was so powerful and scary as if under that cape was hiding centuries of atrocities, and wars as old as time.
From the moment he touched me all things came to live in an instant ,the main door started to open and close brutally ,the candles flames become shinier as if something wanted to come and protect me from this man, the panic grew hier inside of me with every stare of his dark as coil eyes .
Then without control i started to shout intothe plain void:
-Demir!!!!! Demir, help me!!!!i screamed as much as my lungs allowed me to.
In an instant all my friends along with the monks, were near me in a protective state while i started to become numb.
The warm hands of M.Lupescu assured me that they all are there and I am saved now.
-Is ok Ana, we are here with you!!!You are safe, you foolish girl!!!!he said in a comforting manner.
Mara was lost in to another world of her own ,while seeing this man, not moving her eyes from him.
M.Vladimir, with his arms folded near the chest leaned himself near a tree in a bored mood said:
-This will be a very intriguing, night!!!
-Oh shut up ,let's bring her inside!!!She's scared already!!Doc.D said taking the incharge of the situation.
-Take her into her room ,now!!!!And someone please close that door ,the show is over!!!the monk said slowly but firm.
And then I was carried by the arms of M.Lupescu followed silently by others ,in to my room ,where hopefully i can come into my senses and find out once and for all what is this life i am living!!!!!??????