Into Darkness

e i g h t

e i g h t

THE FIRST THING that reaches my ears is the soft ticking of a clock. It seems to echo throughout the deafeningly quiet world, and besides the even puff of my own breath, it's the only sound that reaches my ears. I faintly remember the delirious pain from earlier as if it was a bad dream, but the tranquility I feel now blots it out as if it never happened.

I sigh as I listen to the clock, it's steady cadence like a heartbeat to this silence, giving it life. Was the pain I felt real? There's no way I could go from that complete chaos to this. The sound is almost nostalgic, giving me a sense of safety I haven't felt since...

My room in the Grey Castle had a clock like this.

My eyes open abruptly at the revelation, the darkness of the night enveloping me.  A pain quickly blooms in my chest, fiery and passionate, but it's not caused by the wounds from the explosion. It's this deep seeded ache. This desperate need to go home.

Swirling shapes dance in front of me, the semblance of an empty bedroom but I can hardly make anything anymore as black spots and hot, blinding tears cloud my vision. The clock is too loud now, pounding it's message deep into my mind.

Tik.

I want to go home.

Tok.

I'm sick of the expectations Fin, Carter, and everyone else holds of me.

Tik.

I'm tired of being afraid of who I am and I'm so much pain.

Tok.

There's a crimson stained sword over the body of my brother...

Tik.

I'm worn down by everyone wanting me to reclaim my title without knowing why I won't.

Tok.

I see the bodies of my brother and parents stretched before me, their eyes glassy and wide with pain. There's blood everywhere...

Tik.

I just want my family back.

That thought knocks the wind out of me and I find myself unable to breathe anymore. Everythings suddenly too loud. I can't see. I can't breathe. I can't think. A nauseous feeling sweeps over me and as I try to curl into myself, I feel like I'm falling.

Then I am falling.

I hit the ground hard, and as pain laces it's way up my hands and knees, it's like a bucket of cold water has been dumped over me. Everything snaps into clear focus and as if by magic, I can breathe again.

I sigh, drinking in the cold night air around me, and flop onto my back, exhausted even though it's clear I just woke from a deep slumber. It's been a long time since I felt that rush of pure panic as I usually manage to avoid the triggers that send me spiraling into the past.

From the edge of my vision, I can make out the old clock, a new culprit for causing one of my episodes, and the desire to smash it rises up within me. I sit up, subconsciously moving to do so when I feel shock spark through my veins, my hands flying up towards my stomach.

Though I acknowledged I felt no pain earlier, I had quickly forgotten because...well, okay, I was having a moment. Now, as my hands brush press against the thin fabric of my shirt, I feel no bandages but most importantly, I feel no pain.

What happened while I was asleep?

My frown deepening, I'm able to push myself to my feet with ease, and even as I stand tall, there's hardly even a sensation of vertigo. In fact, all emotional complications aside, I feel great. There's not even that heavy, feverish fog that clouded my mind earlier as we rushed through the tunnels to here.

I press my lips together at the thought. We must be in Tenebris now, a small sector in the Dark district of Aslopen and home to what Fin describes as the heart of the Silver Guard. I can't help the unease that settles into me at that. Here I'll face more expectations than I've ever been faced with in my life.