don't tell me what to do

best friends gone wrong

I had a best friend. Well, he was one of my best friends. Yes, it was a he. Immediately, friends and people around me thought someone has to have a crush on the other person simply because we are the opposite gender. Sometimes it's just who certain people are and they assume that, but sometimes people are just idiots.

Well, in this case, i proved that two people of opposite genders can't be best friends. Sigh, let's get into it.

So, second semester of the school year, I was switched into a gym class. I didn't know anyone in that class, but I decided to try to make new friends. Genius idea, right?

But, I actually did make a friend, surprisingly. This was my new best friend. We did a lot together. It was really cool. And it was even more cool that it was a dude because typically you learn more street knowledge by being around guys. Which I did.

Moving along a few weeks, I decided to bring this new friend around some of my friends that I've known for much longer. Everyone thought he was pretty chill, he was funny, he wasn't too gross or anything (foreshadowing).

One of my friends I've known the longest whispered to me when he wasn't paying as attention "you know hes got a crush on you right?". I rolled my eyes and came back with "really, hes just my friend. just because hes a guy doesn't mean anything." (even more foreshadowing)

Later the next day, my new friend texted me. Yes, we already had each others phone numbers (shit... foreshadowing!) So he sent me a message around 9 PM. Kind of normal for us, we would talk after we were done with what we had to do for the day. We talked until about 11 when I fell asleep with the phone in my hand. Not healthy, I don't recommend. Mommy, I'm just kidding I never did that. I love you, stop reading this please.

Moving on, the next night, I believe a Friday after school had let out for summer break, I texted him closer to 11 PM this time. I told him I couldn't sleep.

He simply said have you tried watching tv. I said that give me headaches. He said had you tried 'rubbing one out'.

Your girl froze. Mad hard. Uhhh I'm going to pretend like you didnt say that, I came back with. Whatever we get over it. Then he comes back to the subject. Some how the topic of nudes was brought up. I said on the rare occasion I take nudes, I'll send him one (knowing full well I will never take a nude, nor send one to my best guy friend.... all around a lie. he doesn't need to know that though). I tried to get him off the topic but this boy was resilient. Fucking spider man in the flesh bouncing back everytime I shut him down. Stupid spidey sense.

Then, things escalated. Quite dramatically. He found that this was the time to tell me that he had a crush on me.

Take that in for a sec.

Then, he decided that since I reciprocated (....um definitely didnt do that. and I'm not playing. I showed this boy zero ounce of intrest) He started saying what pure Christian things he would love to do to me. Oh not in church, in case I confused you. No quite the opposite. Things such as ... and I quote.. 'picking me up then fucking me'....Very unholy (cringe)

I didnt know how to respond. And that's when it hit me like a boulder. In the head. This boy had a girl friend. I of course addressed this (in all caps). He said 'oh come on were not even really dating' after he had just told me minutes ago that he was trying to make it better and that's why he hadn't broken up with her yet.

Yea cheating on her is a great way to make it better, keep doing what your doing bud. Anyways, out of fear for being sent an unwelcome nude from my (ex) best friend, I quickly shut of the conversation with a "I'm going to bed, goodnight". We- no I- ended it as soon as possible.

Fast forward to my birthday, maybe a month after this. Guess who texts me. The devil incarnate himself. Saying ohhh how much i mean to him.... blah blah.... oh and how he cant wait to pick me up and - (vomit).

So sweet. Can you hear the sarcasm? I really hope you can. Sometimes I doubt peoples comprehension skills via sarcasm.

Last but definitely not least, school started. That meant I had to see the goofy bastard again. But now I couldn't be friends with him (I cri.)

He comes up to me all excited and jittery saying hi and then tries to give me a hug. I immediately back away from him and start saying not now not now. Like bitch, get the fu-... anyways. This immediately calls attention to my friends who were standing by. They get confused and start asking questions as he confused and is trying to do the same.

My brain shut off. I went into lock down mode and acted as my brain told me to. If it would have told me to make a chicken noise, I probably would have.  Thank god I didnt.

He said something along the lines as 'boyfriend?' and pointed at my ex boyfriend, which he knew was my ex. To this day I still have no idea what he meant, but in that moment I pointed to my ex and said 'him? no that has nothing to do with this'. Or something along those lines, I'm telling you I blanked.

Then he finally, I mean finally, left. It felt like forever but probably only lasted 2 seconds. Once he was gone, my friends were really confused as to what just went down. Only one of my friends knew about the situation so far, but even she didnt get what happened. Hell if I knew, I had just left my body momentarily.

Basically, I havent talked to him sense. And now I know that having a guy best friend really can lead to trouble. Be careful guys, people's emotions are strong.

Well, now you know one more embarrassing thing about me... please don't blackmail me.... thanks.

Hope you enjoyed my misfortune!