MINECRAFT GODS (Jelix)

Hidden secret

J: "I.. i cutted. I just didn't know what to do.. i feel so alone.. so lost. Why does everyone hate me! I want to die!" I screamed and started to pull on my hair

P: As he said it i started to cry endlessly and i couldn't stop it. I was so destroyed. I wanted to kiss him so much but i thought that i would do a mistake. I can't let him die. He is everything to me. Without him my world would be colorless. He is the sunshine in my life. "Jack... Remember that, when you feel alone just call me...or text me. I will be always there to listen. I can't imagine my life without you. It would be a nightmare but now with you, it is a dream life." I hugged him really tight and let him to cry

J: "I just deserve to die. I'm a burden to everybody. Even my fans hate me!" I cried louder and started to scratch my arm in anger.
I deserve it. I deserve all the pain

P: "Jack please calm down" i grabbed his hand and i felt his hand shaking. "You don't deserve this pain, please for the love of God stop" I need to stop him till it will be too late.

J: "I..i don't know what to do.." i said and took some shaky breaths.

P: "First of all you need professional help or this can end badly, second you need to take break from YouTube and all this chaos around it and last but not least you need to tell me the whole truth now. I want to see it...show me how deep is your depression. Show me your arm Jack"

J: "N-no i..i can't show you" i started to panic and tried to get out of his grip

P: "Jack...please i want to help you. I will not judge you, i promise." I tried to uncover his hand and pull out his sleeve but he didn't let me

J: "No! You will think i'm a freak and tell everyone!" I cried out and put my arms behind my back

P: " i will definitely not think about you in this way. You will forever be the best person which i ever met in my life no matter what you have done to yourself. I love you more than you know and it destroys my heart that you don't trust me. I am not an asshole who will care about you only because of views. I really love you man."

J: I gulped before i reached out my arm "o-okay i trust you F-Fe" i stuttered out and let him see my arm

P: "Oh my God..." i was paralyzed. I wanted to cry, i wanted to scream, i wanted this to be just a dream. I stayed quiet. The room was filled with silence. So many cuts...so many deep ones. I touched them, he was shaking all the time. He was crying. He was feeling the pain. He was dying inside. I took a deep breath and all i could say was "Jack... why?"

J: "I'm so sorry Felix i just.. i'm so done i didn't know what to do other than that. I just felt like the whole world hates me and is against me. I'm so sorry" i cried and tried to apologize. As i shaked

J: I know he won't listen.. he won't care. I'm a failure..he doesn't deserve all this shit i put him through

"I-i'm alright Felix. D-don't worry about me alright? I..it's better if you leave now. I have videos to record" I said as i pulled my sleeves back down and pointed at the door.
"Please leave"

P: "Are you kidding me?!? I will not leave you alone in this state of mind. It is like an addiction, i know you would do it again. I will not leave. You can fight me if you want but i will NOT LEAVE. You are not alright and please stop lying to me. I care about you, don't listen to those lies in your brain. Everyone loves you. And all haters can go fuck themselves. You need to take a break. You need to take a break from YouTube or it will cost you your life"

J: "Are you out of your mind? I can't take a break! They will hate me more. They'll think i'm a pussy and insult me more i-i can'd do that..just c-c can't" i said as i started to shake and sat down on the floor rocking back and forth as i squeezed my cuts covered arm and shaked heavily.

P: "Angel... You need to go with me, NOW." I tried to grab his hand but he refused to go with me

J: "Have..to record more videos...they will hate me more.. i..i can't" i mumbled as i continued to rock back and forth and pulled on my hair

J: I feel like shit but i have to get videos out. They will think i'm a loser if i don't..

P: "Jack please stop for a minute.. i need to take care of you. I love you man and i will not let you do this. Your fans loves you (most of them) but you see it like everyone hates you. It is the symptom of depression. So now listen to me. We will go to the bathroom and i will throw away all the sharp things like knives, razor blades.. than pills and everything dangerous from you. It will be good for you. So come on buddy please follow me." I grabbed his hand again and waited for his reaction

J: "O-okay Fe" i whispered as i gave up and let him lead me into the bathroom.

J: I will get more blades.. and i'll finally make everyone happy. Don't worry..

P: I hope he is not thinking about buying another ones right now. I opened the storage locker and everything fell out. Huge bunch of things...a lot of razor blades, open bottles with pills, sharp knives, omg...my gaze stopped on a rope...i couldn't believe it. I hoped it was here by a mistake. I hoped..