How Can I Run From Myself??

Chapter 4

hermione felt her bed shift. "draco why did you use the key this time?" hermione asked. draco chuckled. hermione opened her eyes and looked at draco. drack had his hand supporting his head as he laided on his side. "not gonna lie no emergency." draco said. hermione pushed his arm from under his head and his head landed on the pillows. "that was uncalled for." draco said. "waking me up was uncalled for." hermione said, "but its hogwarts." draco said. "what time is it?" hermione asked. "6am." draco said. "draco!" hermione groaned hitting him with a pillow. "why would you wake me up at 6am." hermione asked. "im bored. " draco said. hermione got up and went into the bathroom. when she returned draco was landing on his back with his eyes closed. "oh no you don't." hermione jumped on the bed. draco grabbed hermione waisted and hoisted her over him. hermione was stratting draco. "draco." hermione said. "i know just kiss me." draco said, hemrione leaned down and kissed draco. draco returned the kiss, the kissed started to get heated and draco ha to force himself to keep his hands on just hermiones waist. hermione pulled away and moved off of draco. draco sat up. "was that to much?" draco asked. hermione didnt answer. "hermione?" draco aske,d still no answer, draco touched hermiones shoulder and she jumped. draco noticed the tears trailing down her face. "im so sorry baby, i was to fast." draco said. "its not you." hermione said walking over to the mirror. hermione looked in the mirror in disgusted. draco came up behind her. hermione pulled off her shirt and dracos eyes widened. draco noticed cuts on her arms, adn stomach he also noticed a scar on her neck adn the mudblood scar. "mione why would you do this." draco sadi as hermione turned around adn faced him. "the cuts on my arms and stomach were self infliched, you know what the mudblood scar came from, the one on my neck i usally cover it with makeup and my hair that was from the rape, he..he bit me on the neck.' hermione explained. draco touched the scar on her neck. hermione shivered as draco ran his fingers down her neck, over her breast, on her stomach, and arms. "when was the last time you cut." draco asked. "thats the time i havent cut since that day in diagon alley when you asked me to the movies. " hermione said. "that was two months ago." draco said. hermione nodded. "ive been going to a muggle group of rape surviors." hermione said. draco nodded. "i get to tell my story draco, im getting closure, but my rapist still got away." hermione said. "mione you never said...who..who raped you?" draco asked. "i..i..it was..greyback...it was greyback." hermione was with tears rolling down her face. "mione you dont get the profit do you?" draco asked. "no why?" hermione asked. "you got your justice, greyback was caught, hes in askiban for life." draco said. hermione gasped. "what?" hermione asked. "he cant hurt you, no on cna, i wont let them." draco said, "will..will you be my girlfriend, officailly" draco said. hermione let out a laugh. "yes" hermione pulled draco into a kiss. draoc pulled back. "what?" hermione asked. "you have no shirt on." draco said. hermione picked up her shirt and put it on then pulled draco back into a kiss. draco returned the kiss, draoc moved his hand up and placed it on hermiones breast. hermione pulled back and rested her forhead against dracos. she grabbed draco hand adn moved it back to her waist. "im sorry." draco whisphered. "dont be draco its me i should be sorry." hermione siad. "never be
sorry for saying no." draco said. hermione looked at the clock on the wall. "you need to go get your trunk from your house," hermione siad. draco smirked. "its in the living room here." draco said. Hermione chuckled. "fine go get us breakfast, i want coffee and theres nothing here." hermione said. "fine ill go get you our coffee and food. "draco said giving her a quick kiss and leaving. hermione packed up her trunk and got dressed. she climbed in her bed waiting for draco staring at the ceiling. hermion heard a pop and headed down stairs. "draco i want my coffee." hermione shouted. hermione entered the living room expecting draco but she saw ginny. "hi ginny." hermione said. "hi..thats all i get a hi after a year you say hi." ginny said. seh was mad hermione could tell. "what do you want me to say?" hermione asked. "how about im sorry ginny for leaving you, i missed you too, how about you explian why you left me when i needed you most! my brother died hermione!" hermione cut ginny off. "and it was my fault fred pushed me out of the way im supposed to be dead not him!" hermione yelled. "i needed you hermione." ginny said. "i needed me too, let me know when you find the real me." hermione said. "why..why would you just leave." ginny asked. "because ginny i was scared ok, i was scared of what your family would think of me becasue that curse was meant for me, i was scared that i would cause more pain than was needed, i was scared everyone would see me diffrent." hermione said. "i would have talked with you, i know what it feels like." ginny said. "you don know what it feels like to be raped!" hemrione yelled. "yes i do!" ginny yelled back. "yes i do." ginny said again in a calmer voice. "what?" hermione asked. "i do know what it feels like mione' like no matter what you do you can still feel them on top of you, inside you, you feel there hands on your wrist, everything you do is controled by that one event, you can still feel it and you cant breathe." ginny explained in a soft voice. "ginny i didnt know.." hermione trailed off. "it happened after you left mione of course you didnt know, you left" ginny said. hermione stared at ginny, hermione could feel her own heart breaking. "im sorry..i.."hermione said. "your sorry now..hermione i need my best friedn and you werent there..my brother died and i was raped..my family isnt a family anymore..i broke up with harry becasue i thought if he found out he wouldnt want me anymore..ive resorted to something that i would have never thought would help me i have the cuts to prove it." ginny said pulling up her sleeves. ginnys arms were covered in cuts not as many or as bad as hermiones. "ginny..im sorry sorry i wasnt there for you..i couldnt even be there for myself..i love you..your my best friend..i wouldnt have left if i knew how much you would need me i thought that, everyone would be fine without me." hermione said. hermione and ginny both had tears running down their faces. "hermione you left becasue you thougth no one would care that you left...and now after a year of search..looking for you. i finally find you and your calling malfoys name... draco malfoy the person who tourtured you in school...a person you hated..is now buying you coffee...when me..your supposed to be best friend was fighting to not take my life away...becasue i need you when you werent there... I hate you..so mouch." ginny said and then disapparted away. hermione stared at the spot ginny once stood. 'i hate you' ginnys voice said over and over agin in hermiones head. "i hate me too." hermione said running upstairs to her bathroom. hermione found her blade and slid down the wall. something so small but so powerful, like a drug so addicting, a addication. hermione thought. hermione pulled up her sleeve. and began to cut over and over again. hermione began to get dizzy and stopped. she sat there for a while until she heard another pop. she closed her eyes 'is ginny back' hermione thought. "babe i got your coffee." draco called. hermione stood up and closed the bathroom door and started the shower. "ill be out in a second." hermione called back. hermione opened her medicane cabinet and pulled out some supplies to clean her arm. a few minutes later she pulled down her sleeve and turned off the shower. she didnt want to heal the cuts, she wanted the pain..the sting. hermione went down stairs and smiled when she saw draco. draoc smiled at her and then frowned. "what?" hemrione asked. "youve been crying." draco said. "oh yeah um ginny stopped by.." hermione said. "what did she say?" draco asked. "she hates me." hermione said grabbing her coffee and drinking it. "its 10am we should get going." draco said. "yeah um can you get my trunk i left it upstairs on the bed." hermioen said. draco nodded and headed upstairs. when draco came back he grabbed his trunk and they apparted rigth onto the platform where the hogwarts train sat. their was familys rushing around. hermione looked around and saw a cround of red hair. "oh no." hermioen said. "what?" draco asked. hermione grabbed her trunk and then held dracos hand, draco looked down at their joined hands and smiled. "your holding my hand." draco said. hermione smiled. "i know." hermione kissed draco. "mione'" a voice called. hermioen looked up and saw some of the the weasleys adn harry staring at her 'except fred which was her fault" hermione thought. "you cut your hair" molly said. "yeah." hermione said, "snd your kissing and holding hands with malfoy." aurthor said. "yes." hermione said. keep answers short maybe they will leave. hermione thought. ginny picked up her trunk and kissd molly on the cheek and hugged aurthor. "bye love you uys." ginny got on the train. "hey draco." ron said, "hey ron, hey harry." draco said. "can we talk to you?" ron asked. draco looked at hermione, hermione nodded. draco let go of hermione and walked away. now it was just george, molly, and aurthor. "how have you been hermione, dear?" molly asked. "Ok." hermioen said. "molly sweetheart maybe we should leave george and hermione to talk hes been talking about her quit often." aurthor said. molly nodded and wlaked off. "hermioen?" george stepped closer to hermione. hermione stepped back. "i know why you cant look at me." george said. hemrione squeezed her eyes closed. "he left a letter mione for you." george said. hermione opened her eye sand looked at george. george held out a letter. hermione took it. "its not your fault you know..just read the letter." george said and then walked away. ron, harry, and draco wlaked back over to hermione. "whats that" ron asked asked. hermione looked at the letter and replied. "fred left me a letter." hermione said. they all looked ta her shocked. "george gave it tome." hermione said. they all got on the train in silens and sat in the same compartment. hermione sat down and pulled out the letter. "do you want us to go while you read." harry asked. "please." hermione said. the three of the boys got up and left before draco left he kissed hermione. Hermione sighed and opened the letter.

Dear, Ladybug

I leave you this letter to let you know it wasnt your fault, i know i will die in the war and i know i will die for you. dont wonder how or why just know i made this choice. its not yoour fault it was never your fault, you didnt cause what ever kills me to happen. you were alwasy the one to bottle up your feelings, after i die don't close yourself off, don't cry for me. i love you ladybug, ive always loved you, maybe not the same way you love me..i dont just ove you.im in love with you...

Love you, forever, Freddie.

hermione stared at the words she just read. when she was read she heard his voice like he was with her. 'its not your fault.' freds voice rang in her voice. hermione didnt realize she was crying until she let a sob excapt her lips. the door slid open and hermone looked up and saw ginny. hermione put her hand on her chest and countuie to sob losing her breaths. hermione couldnt breathe. ginny noticed that and closed the compartment door and sat beside hermione and put her hand on her shoulder. "breathe...in..out..in..out." ginny said in a soft voice.. hemrione began to control her breathing again but she countiued to cry. hermione cluched the letter to her chest. "he..'he knew." hermione gasped out. "who know what" ginny asked. "fred, he knew he would die, and he knew if would be for me." Hermione said handing ginny the letter. ginny read the letter and then handed it back to hermione. ginnys eyes widen. "what?" hermione asked. "your bleeding." ginny said. hermione looked down and saw her shit had a red spot from blood. she opened up a recent cut. "its nothing." hermione siad. "let me see." ginny said. "im fine." hermione said. "no your not your bleeding let me see." ginny said touching her arm. hermione yanked her amr away, feeling another cut open back up. "i thougth you hated me im fine okay its just blood." hermioen said. "you do it to." ginny whisphered. "what?" hermioen asked. "you cut too." ginny said a little louder. "no i dont." hemrione said. "then whats the blood from." ginny asked. it ws a accident." hermioen said. ginny gave her a disbelieved look. "fine you want ot know." hemrione said yanking up her sleeve. ginny gasped. "i cut myself ginny, happy?" hermione pulled her sleeves back down not bothering to hela up the open cuts. "no im not happy you should do that o yourself." ginny said. hermione scofted. "you do it." hermione shot back. "thats diffrent." ginny said. "so is this!" hermione stood up and yelled. ginny sat in silents. "get out." hermione said. "what?"ginny asked. "i said get out, you hate me, this isnt your problem to fix adn you cant fix something as broken as me ginny." hermione said. ginny stood up and left. hermione casted a spell to clean her shirt and wrapped her arm up in a bandage adn pulled her sleeve back over her arm. the boys walked back in. "youve been crying." rn said. "im ok." hermione said. they nodded and sat down. hermione leaned into draco. draco put his arm around her. hermione closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

hermione stood in the forbidden forest. "draco, Ron, Harry! Hello!" hermione shouted. hermione heard chuckling and swun around and saw lucius malfoy and greyback. hermione gasped and stumbled back. "hello dear i hope you remember me." greyback said smiling showing off his sharp teeth. "how could i forget, youraped me!" hermione yelled. "now, now no need to get hostial mudblood." lucius said. "fuck you!" hermione said turning around and began to run. she heard running behind her and she tried to run faster. someone grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to their body. hermione reconizedd that body, those hands. hermione tried to get away but greyback held her still. lucius walked out into of them. "now now why would you run?"lucius said. "becasue your a bloody mental person." hermione yelled. "dont yell." greyback whisphereed in her ear. hermione pulled trying to get away. "greyback dug his nails into hermiones arm. hermione whimphered. "now that your content i have something to say to you, stay away from my son you mudblood i will not have my bloodline tant." lucius said. "fuck yo nad your blood line, dracos mine, you cant control him anymore." hermione shouted. "no but i can control you." lucius said. "no you cant" hermione siad. "watch me, greyback." lucius said. greyback wrapped both of her wrist in one of his hands and used his other hand to grope her breast. "stop!" hermione screamed. "HERMIONE!"

hermione jolted awake harry, ron, and draco looked at her in worry."it was just a dream." draco said touching her cheek. hermione jumped. "it seemed so real." hermione whishered. draco wiped away some tears she didnt even know she was shedding. "we are at hogwarts." ron said. theyall nodded and stood up. harry and ron left the compartment. draco looked at hermione. "are you oke?" draco asked. "yeah just a nightmare about..about greyback." hermione said. draco nodded. "come on." draco said. "how about you walk with harry and ron, im going to see if i can find luna." hermione said. draco kissed hermione and then left. hermione reached up to the rack to get her purse, her sleeve rolled down. hermione noticed a bruise and looked ta her amr more closely. "hand print on the arm he grabbed in the dream" hermione whisphered. 'what if it wasnt just a dream.' hermione thought.