Chasing Fate (Sentinel & Guide)

Chapter 54 (Part 2)

[[Very short chapter today, this actually should have been on chapter 54 but I missed it when copying into wattpad. A look into what Jack is thinking]]

Just as guides were driven to shore up their mental bonds as often as possible, sentinels desired an imprint. It wouldn't outright kill him if they never imprinted, but he was suffering nonetheless. It was as taxing as being on a diet to meet weight class, except this time the buffet lived in his room and slept in his bed. 

Jack splashed more cold water in his face, berating himself for his lack of control. They hadn't even talked about it yet. Fate was still approaching everything like a friendly working relationship.  She'd even asked about Kaylee Ann on the way home. Asked if they' had been able to spend time together now that his schedule was so busy. 

 He hadn't been able to spend time with her! She was who he wanted to spend time with! He'd never met someone so easy to chat with. After that first night of bonding, they could talk for hours about all sorts of things. And she knew so much about so many random things. But she didn't judge him for his stupid jokes or mis-remembered history. 

He wanted to spend more time talking, take her on a real date, dinner and a movie like in the romcoms they watched. Or a music festival, a museum, anything! He liked holding her hand and walking around town with her. 

He liked wandering the woods with her and Beau and they placed scavenger items for training. He liked the way her touch grounded him as  he tested the new limits of his abilities. He liked spending his day checking his territory with her right by his side. 

He liked it all. He liked everything she'd done, every breath she took. But it just wasn't enough. The mess left in his 3 AM cold shower clearly evidenced that he wanted far more. 

But he  couldn't even open his mouth to say it. 

They'd made great progress since the first movie night, but Fate was still wary. She still froze when confronted too directly, her heartbeat skyrocketing and her face going grey with fright. It had been a conscious effort for her to not panic when he woke up first (which was often), but he'd yet to convince her that she didn't need to do every chore.

She still trembled minutely when a sentinel, even the children, raised their voice. 

She still wouldn't ask him for help . She never asked to bond. In public she never spoke unless spoken to, even when he could feel her frustration. And even when they were laughing and joking and singing karaoke to old metal hits, she absolutely never looked him directly in the eye. 

He could ask. He could put his cards on the table and ask for  her to take his affection seriously. He'd like it very much if he could just head over to the bed and give her a morning wake up call. 

Jack also knew that it would feel so very good. His base instincts, usually locked away in his hindbrain were in overdrive. Unlike a null, he could smell the hormones and pheremones drifting around their enclosed area. 

A new moon, fourteen days after she stopped bleeding. The smell of extra honey dripped over her usual scent of spice and coconut. It kept him up all night, nostrils flared and mouth wide, just like hte month before and the month before. 

No, he didn't JUST want to imprint. That was very clear. But he wouldn't act on it. He wouldn't act on any of it.  

It would be the worst thing he could do. She still saw him as "sentinel" first, "Jack" second, and sentinels had done nothing but hurt and take advantage of her. He was sure that if he asked, she'd agree. 

Because she always agreed. She didn't trust him enough to say no. 

If he was going to get her to actually love him, he was going to have to work for it. But it would be worth it. He didn't feel sorry for himself as he tucked back in and climbed back into bed. 

Fate grumbled at the shift in the mattress and sleepily rolled over, seeking more warmth in the crook of his arm. Jack smiled and rearranged the blanket so he got at least a sliver. Eventually she'd figure out how to be a little more selfish when she was awake too. 

Until then he'd just have to make do.