Stay with Me || Ziall Horlik

Chapter Eight [I'm Gonna Leave This World For A While]

The only thing that Louis can understand from Niall's lips as he sobs uncontrollably, is; "I don't remember him anymore." Niall feels himself falling apart, slowly and painfully just like when he was once sad. Eventually the sobs get quieter and Niall can manage to speak a bit slower, the pain in his heart is still relevant.

"His smell, I can't remember it." Niall says slowly, taking a deep breath. The realization seems to be hitting him directly in the chest, his eyebrows furrowed together as he thinks about everything that has seemed to happen in the past year. It's almost too much for him to bare. Louis doesn't say anything for a while, for once he isn't trying to be funny or try to cheer Niall up, he's just listening carefully.

Niall isn't really sure if he's crying because for the first time in decades he has felt something or the fact that he had never felt that way with Harry. Maybe that's why he feels this way, as he lays with his head in Louis' lap. For some odd reason, Niall feels guilty for the fire that ignites in his heart each time he's near Zayn. 

Their isn't anything he can do about it either, other than ignore it.

Eventually Niall pulls himself up, and out of Louis' lap and quietly walks away to sit in the shower for a while. Louis doesn't stop him, or pressures him to talk. He simply pads off into the kitchen eventually shutting the door to his room tightly.

Niall likes that he doesn't pry but telling someone about Zayn is something he has been waiting to do, and now with the circumstances at hand, he may do it, he just isn't sure when. Niall pulls his shirt over his head, closing his eyes slowly and opening them again as he takes in a whiff of cologne that he is positive isn't his own. It's intoxicating and just as quickly as the events came, so do the tears. Niall wipes them fiercly and turns the water on. 

Once he has it about as hot as it will go, he steps inside and tries to scrub his touch of his skin, hoping it will somehow makes the memories easier to grasp.

It doesn't.

And when his skin is rubbed raw and stinging slightly, Niall wishes he hadn't done it.

-

Niall falls asleep wrapped in the shirt that Zayn's cologne is covered in.

- 

He doesn't leave his bed for a few days. 

Louis and Liam check on him often, but of course they never coax him enough to the point of leaving his sheets and duvet behind. Niall almost feels like his whole body aches, not just his heart. Nothing seems to help, his favorite take out included.

The boys do what they've always done in Niall's time of need, bring him food. Cleaning the dishes that he doesn't remove from his room. All piling on his futon as they watch programes on Niall's small flat screen. They don't ever ask him what happened or why he feels this way. Louis and Liam just usually put a movie on or watch an episode of Friends because it's the only Dvd's Liam felt the need to own.

Sometimes they crack jokes and give him a proper cuddle, and before Niall can manage to look at a calender it's been almost two weeks since Niall has left the house. Some part of Niall thinks that Zayn may be waiting for him at the shop but he tries to push it back from his head as best as possible.

Finally, one night, Liam finally gets fed up and can't take it any longer. He drops his slice of pizza down on his plate before getting up and shutting the Tv off. Louis looks just as confused as Niall does as they both set their slices of pizza down.

"Niall you can't keep doing this, not anymore." Liam shakes his head fiercely, "You aren't some fragile hollow shell of the Niall we once knew. Harry is gone, and he's been gone for a while." Niall takes in a sharp breath of air. "That boy you've been seeing, he's here. Harry loved you Niall, I know that, but he wouldn't want this for you. Not now, not ever. Watching you fall apart at the seams is something I can't do anymore. You need to get off your ass and stop acting like you're a wounded bird!" 

It's completely silent after Liam yells, his words almost float around in the air as Niall and Louis process what has happened. Niall then looks at Louis for reassurance, but when he doesn't. Niall feels hurt and betrayed.

"You're going to side with him?" Niall almost whispers, looking at Louis.

Louis stands up, standing next to Liam, his eyes fixed on the ground before he finally looks up. "Liam is right Niall, you can't keep doing this. We've seen you with him Niall, and you can't just push him away because your fiance died." 

That's when Niall breaks.

"Get out." he whispers at first, as if he isn't ready to say the words, and then he looks up to meet Liam and Louis' sad eyes. "GET OUT!" Niall yells, tears falling from his cheeks.

Niall presses his face into his pillow, and doesn't look up as he hears the door shut tightly behind them. Niall can feel every ounce of energy leave his body as he begins to sob into his pillow. Maybe it's because of the harsh words his best friends have said to him, or maybe its the fact that they're true and he doesn't want to accept the fact that he is acting like some sort of wounded bird that hasn't even tried to fix things.

He's not sure of anything anymore, and perhaps that's what scares him the most. Not knowing if he's doing the right or wrong thing. It's too much to bare, he just wants to sleep his problems away. 

This time he falls asleep, not to the thought of velour eyes peering into his own, but russet instead.

________________________________

So I suppose I should have an excuse for my absence, but I really don't have one.

Sometimes people don't quite know what they want to do with their life, and they want to sleep their problems away ( just like Niall) I suppose. 

But I want you guys to know, that without you reading my story I wouldn't be doing this today, so thank you for that, and I hope you enjoy this chapter x

HAPPY 4+ READS!