Stay with Me || Ziall Horlik

Chapter Nine [It may take some time, to patch me up inside]

Its funny really, how fate steps in, and gives Niall that push that he rightfully deserves.

He ends up having to open the shop, the owner, that hardly ever calls demands that Niall open the store immediately. It doesn't quite makes sense considering it isn't even close to holiday's but Niall tries not to question it any further. He showers and puts clothes on finally after what seems like ages.

He parks the car, and tries not to look down the road because he knows that his stomach will start to hurt and the urge to run away will begin.

His keys seem to shake in his hand an awful lot and he cant manage to open the door that wants to stick, but when he finally does, his breath hitches in his throat as he see's Zayn sitting on the counter, picking flowers, and rubbing the petals with his thumb (Niall loves that his picked that habit up) 

Its completely quiet and Niall hates the awkward silence, but he knows he's the reason for it.

"Ni." Zayn breathes, sliding off the counter and his shoes touching the tile ever so carefully. He looks painfully beautiful and Niall wants to scold himself for wearing his stupid work shirt with the jeans that make his bum look flat, but that thought suddenly drifts away when Zayn moves forward.

He's got flower petal in his hand and he keeps licking his lips nervously, the habit makes Niall weak at the knees and his heart starts to beat fast in his chest when Zayn is suddenly inches away from his.

"You left me so venerable." Zayn says carefully, looking down at the ground as his eyes begin to brim with tears. "Why would you do that," 

Niall isn't sure what to say at this point, he didn't mean to leave Zayn stranded and alone but he felt the same way, more than Zayn will ever know. "I-I don't know... I was just so overwhelmed." Niall wishes telling him that would satisfy the urge Zayn has, but he knows it won't. Zayn then looks up at Niall and it makes his heart hurt entirely.

"What about me Niall?!" Zayn half yells. "I was so head over heels for you and you leave me alone and wishing you hadn't left me after the moment we shared. I watched as you ran down the road, leaving me to ponder if my life was even worth living anymore."

Niall swallows thickly and runs his hands through his flat hair. "You don't understand Niall." 

"I had never felt that way about anyone, and I couldn't decide who was in the wrong. You or me."

Niall shakes his head and wipes away a tear he didn't notice falling down his cheek, "It was me. I'm too much to handle Zayn, you don't understand... I can't manage to put my clothes on in the morning none the less hold you at night and tell you everything is going to be okay. I don't know who I am anymore and I'm dragging you down. Just- just let me go." Niall doesn't look up. He turns away and almost reaches the door before Zayn stops him.

"You don't get to leave this time Niall!" Zayn yells, tears falling down his cheeks, "You don't get to tell me who to love, or that I can't handle your problems. Its bullshit. If we want to be together then you can try. We both can. It doesn't have to be hard unless you make it that way." Niall sighs and looks back at Zayn. In his episode, he somehow manages to look completely gorgeous.

"What if you leave? What if you go just like Harry did and I don't ever see you again. I have just gotten to the point of not wanting to hurt myself anymore. I was sleeping at his grave when I met you! Don't you understand? I'm in love with someone who won't ever exist anymore!"

Niall knows that if those words had been said to him, he would instantly break down, but Zayn just shakes his head. "You use to love him Niall, I won't ever replace him, and I don't intend to. But you cant stand there and tell me that we didn't just fuck in that car," Niall winces at the word.

"That we made love, and that when you moaned my name, and your toes curled that you weren't ready to give up everything and run away." Niall wipes his tears fiercely, Zayn's words hitting Niall a little too close. Those things did happen as he laid next to Zayn, his heart swelling up just by looking at him. He just doesn't want to admit it.

"I want to run away with you Niall, I want to wake up one day and look at you and know that everything that i've done wrong is okay at that for once in the damned earth that I am actually needed. That someone loves me just as much as I love them. Don't you want that Niall?" 

"Of course I do." Niall manages to say, his voice cracking with ever word.

"Then I want you to look at me and say that you love me." Zayn demands, wiping Niall tears with his thumb. It tickles Niall skin and makes some of his worries disappear.

"Please look at me." Zayn urges. His voice growing quiet with each word he says, the sudden confidence he had when yelling is gone and left with a insecure outershell of Zayn and Niall isn't sure if he likes that all.

Niall looks up at Zayn, opening his eyes slowly, searching Zayn's eyes with his own. Niall wants to say the words so desperately but he doesn't know if he can. This person is willing to give everything up to run away and live a happy and stress free life and Niall can't help but think that he won't be able to do the same, but he so sick of feeling fragile and helpless.

"Zayn I-"

 

I had a hard time writing this chapter, recently something like this happened to me, um sometimes people fall in love and aren't meant to be together right? yeah well, anyway, sorry for the cliff hanger, just you'll just have to read the next chapter. ;)

much love, and happy holidays, x i can't thank you all enough.

would love to get a bunch of comments, if i do. I'll update before Christmas :D