Stay with Me || Ziall Horlik

Chapter Eleven [Just a little bit of your heart]

Zayn

Zayn felt pathetic.

His entire body hurt, and most importantly his chest. Not to mention he felt so utterly embarrassed to be alive, he had not only been denied once by the person he was sure was the love of his life but twice. Perhaps Zayn was being unreasonable, he shouldn't of asked that of Niall. Zayn assumed that he could just tell Niall how he felt and there wouldn't be anything else to it.

He thought wrong.

It's funny how things seem to come back around to haunt Zayn. He had always been the one to give rejection rather than receiving it. Now here he was, watching as his microwave heated up his "meal.'" It was a sad tiny, Tv dinner, and it seemed to look just as bad as Zayn felt. His flat seemed a lot quieter than usual, and with that brang sadness that began to ache inside of Zayn's body.

It was cold and it had of coursed started to rain, and the rain hadn't stopped for days, the microwaved buzzed and he found himself carefully taking the tray out of the microwave. Hoping he would't get burned (he did)

He then sat down on his lumpy couch, and turned on the telly, he only had a few things that peaked his intrest that ran on television and those were now discs that his sister had given him for his birthday. So Zayn quickly turned on the dvd player, and placed whatever season of friends that had been laying on top of the player, and sat back down.

So this was what had become of Zayn's life. It was dark and gloomy and sometimes he wished that he hadn't ever left London, where his life was once something more. A time where Zayn could paint for a living and never ever have to eat processed food out of the microwave. But things changed, and so has he.

Zayn likes to think that he sort of hated that life, it was just as lonely as the one he was currently, but had he not left he would of never have met Niall. That all on its own is miserable. Just to see Niall smiling was enough for Zayn to want to drop everything and live an entirely different life. He would give anything to beH with the blonde haired beauty. He would even give up his passion of Art.

Zayn is such a fool for him.

When Zayn is finished eating a few measly bites of his food he goes into the bathroom to fill the tub to the rim. The flat really isn't much but one thing that Zayn is pleased to have is that the owner has no sense in fixing the faucet, so he has the hottest water on the planted to help scold his skin and forget just for a little while.

He lays in the water for a long time. Thinking for a long time, hoping it will do anything but make his sadness worse. When he finally gets out of the bath his body is pruny and bright red, and he only feels a little bit better because the scent of apples reminds him of his sister. Someone he misses so much it hurts.

That night he lays awake for what seems like hours. Sleep has usually been something that has come quite easily to him, but since he met Niall, his thoughts are always filled with him. Thoughts about a life that could only exist in his dreams.

Zayn doesn't ever remember being so in love. When he was younger he drifted from lad to lad, even had a point in time in his life when he wanted to marry a beautiful girl that had soft skin and smelled of flowers, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't marry her, because the entire time he was with Perrie he thought of warm skin and tangled limbs that didn't involve a woman, but rather a man that he could hold close at night. Perrie was just- she was just too predictable.

He should of known when he asked her to marry him that it was a bad plan. But Zayn was in love with the idea of love. He thought that perhaps his fondness for her was in fact love, but it wasn't. So he called off the wedding and left. It was the main reason why he started back his passion to create paintings. He had once done so in grade school but thought nothing of it until he was alone and wife less.

It's sort of ironic really. Zayn being the marvelous painter he is, never once created something for himself. He dreamed of a day that he would hang a painting in the living room and stand back to look at it. While the person he loved and adored wrapped their arms around his waist and say something along the lines of how beautiful it is. Then Zayn would be happy, he would know that his life wasn't a complete failure and that everything was going to fall into place after that. He hopes that day come soon.

When Zayn finally falls asleep, the sun is slowly creeping into his room. With colors of orange and pink, it's breath taking, and Zayn finally closes his eyes and drifts into a peaceful slumber that he hopes lasts for a while, just so that he won't be so sad when he wakes up. He is determined not to dream of pale skin marked with freckles and eyes as blue as the sea, but he does and it's so beautiful and cleans the mess from his head.

When Zayn finally wakes up, his head is throbbing and he already misses the comfort of sleep. He wants to dream forever, because then, just then, Niall would have to love him. Zayn smokes a cigarette as he sips his tea and watches as the rain pours on the ground. Eventually he finds the motivation to change, and while he does so, there is a knock on the door. It nearly gives him a heart attack because he's got a few weeks before the landlord demands his rent money and Zayn doesn't have it at the moment.

So he carefully opens the door, to meet not just one set of eyes but two. One with the color of home, warmth and kindness. While the other is, humor and playful ness. "Hi Zayn... We're friends of Niall's. And well, we're hoping you know where he is. He's been missing."

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Also this is dedicated to Zayn, who's birthday should be shared with the one person who makes him happiest. niall.

happy birthday Zayn, you truly make the stars shine.

Much love, chloe.

Ps. I love nicole