Pretty Boy [bxb] | ✔️

Chapter fourteen: I'm such an idiot

I'm such an idiot

Sofia didn't go through with the abortion in the end; she couldn't, so I told Cami that she couldn't come over tonight then I drove Sofia home where we spent the rest of the evening watching movies, enjoying being in each other's company. She didn't want to talk about anything to do with the baby, so after promising to keep it a secret, we left it at that.

We both know that it's not that simple. It will have to be talked about soon, and Sofia will have to tell our parents if she was going to keep the baby, but for now, it will only be spoken about when she feels comfortable enough to.

I respect that as I can kind of take my sexuality into perspective. I will have to tell our parents some day, but for now, I'm not sure if I'm ready. Sofia's process is a bit quicker than mine for the reason that a whole baby will have to be born and taken care of, and even before that she'll have a whole pregnant belly. She can't hide that. I can hide my issue, and I can deny it. I don't want to, but I can.

In the morning, I opt for leaving my car at home and walk the twenty minute journey to school instead. A lot of thoughts have been whizzing inside my head since I came back from our day out yesterday and I thought a walk would help clear my mind a bit. The cold air seems to help too: breathing in the refreshing air and breathing out the negative emotions that have seemed to be clouding my mind.

Now that I have nothing to distract me, the fear has finally settled in me. Just like Sofia with her baby, I'm going to have to tell my family that I like guys someday. I can't keep it to myself for the rest of my life. I'm not sure if I'm ready to let them know, though. I've told one person, but I don't know if that means I'm prepared to tell others. It's all a bit too confusing for me.

To drown out any anxiety-ridden musing, I decide to put my headphones on and listen to music. The fresh air hasn't helped as much as I hoped it had, so maybe music can help muffle the noise in my head as well as the noise around me. Yesterday I felt so happy to have come out to someone, but now I can't help but notice the sinking feeling in my stomach.

I get to school relatively quickly, not realising how fast I was walking. I suck in a breath before I step inside, not quite sure what I'm readying myself for but doing so anyway.

When I arrive at my locker, the hood of my jumper is suddenly pulled down from my head. I assume it's Cami, but when I look up to see who the attacker is, I'm surprised to find out that it is, in fact, Alex. He's got his back to the lockers with his arms crossed over his chest, a look of slight concern upon his features.

"Hey," I can see him say, though I can't hear him through the music blaring into my ears, so I take out my headphones. "You rushed out of my house the other day and then you weren't in yesterday. Are you alright?" I nod in response, taking out my maths textbooks and shoving in my gym bag. "Are you sick? You look pale."