Pretty Boy [bxb] | ✔️

Chapter twenty-six: Fuck you

𝙁𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪

I can see that there is a cigarette between Alex's lips as I approach him. The moment his eyes land on me, it's out of his mouth, being stumped out and then throw in the nearest bin.

He shrugs slightly when I reach him, giving him a stern look, "I'm trying to quit, it's just not that easy," he mumbles, sticking his bottom lip out in a cute frown.

My gaze softens, "I understand. As long as you're trying," I say, going in to kiss him on the lips as I know no one is around to see, then changing direction at the last minute and planting one on his cheek instead. The look of protest on his face makes me laugh, "I'm not kissing you after you've just had a cigarette. Have a mint and maybe I'll consider it." I joke.

"Wow, if I don't get a kiss then maybe I really should quit."

"Yes, that, and the fact that it ruins your lungs," I shoot back.

"Touché, baby."

On Monday, after I caught him smoking for the first time in our time dating or whatever you would call what we're doing right now, he made a promise to me that he will try to cut down on the number of cigarettes he smokes so he can eventually stop one day. Bless his heart, he has been trying these past four days but giving up an addiction requires time and effort. It's going to take a while.

I've never smoked in my life so I don't know what quitting is like but I guess, if you've smoked for a while, it won't be that easy to give it up. It's like my addiction to coffee, I just can't seem to stop drinking it. Maybe I'll cut down my caffeine intake as he cuts down on cigarettes.

As I thread my fingers through his and he leads me to an outdoor cinema we agreed to check out, I smile up at him.

Ever since my breakdown last week, where he spent the whole day with me making sure I was alright and subsequently staying the night, I've been feeling a lot closer to him. I let him see a side of me only Cami and my closest family members have seen, a lot of trust goes into stuff like that. It's like more of our relationship is slotting into place.

I know wholly relying on someone isn't the healthiest mindset to have but it's just so hard to be completely independent with this when you've found someone with the amount of care you so critically need. It won't be easy letting this go if I ever find I have to.

Opening up to someone in such a way I did last week is extremely special to me as it's something I find difficult to do. Heck, I haven't even told Cami everything. I have told anyone everything.

The reason I'm finding it difficult is because it's me exposing the deepest and darkest parts of myself. These parts are so easily judged, and can be used against you or taken advantage of. I don't want to give someone that power.