Pretty Boy [bxb] | ✔️

Chapter twenty-seven: How does it feel?

𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡?

The first time Cami and I properly hang out together outside of school comes two days after mine and Alex's second date. Since he pointed out that Cami and I seemed a bit more distant recently, it's all that's been on my mind. Even now, she appears a bit more reserved.

I genuinely don't know what's happened. I try to think back to a time where I would have possibly hurt Cami's feelings. However, I can't think of a single thing. We like to joke about a lot about the stupidest things. Maybe she took something the wrong way?

I can't remember saying anything remotely offensive to her, and she always knows it's a joke. She'd tell me if she got offended and I always try to avoid that. I don't even joke about things that could be seen as offensive anyway.

Maybe she's found a significant other as Alex said; it's not out of the picture, although I'd expect her to tell me. I know I'm a hypocrite by saying that, but my situation is a bit different. If I tell her that I'm seeing someone, I'll have to come out. Currently, I'm trying to gather as much confidence as I can to be able to do that. It's a big deal to me.

As Cami sits next to me on my bed, my laptop on her lap as she watches Riverdale, I draw. I don't know what I'm sketching at first, and I let myself do it subconsciously, though when I'm about three-quarters of the way through it, I realise what I'm doing.

I'm sketching Alex. Again.

I pause, pencil hovering over the page as I stop myself before I can let it touch the paper and blink at the drawing before me, confounded at how easily I've been able to picture him in my mind: his ebony, slightly unkempt but overall sexy hair; dark, chocolatey eyes; that one dimple on his left cheek; his sharp jawline that looks like it could cut through any glass. And his lips, so goddamn kissable.

I've included almost every detail, even shading the shine into his eyes. I can feel myself getting flustered over the idea that Cami could look over and see that I'm drawing Alex of all people. I would stop and put away the notebook, but I can't seem to leave this one unfinished. So I turn around and face her, making it look like I'm about to say something to cover the fact that I'm hiding something. And I do speak because I don't want her getting suspicious.

I don't choose what I say before I say it, it just comes out, and I have no time to stop myself mid-sentence, "Cami, have you ever been in love?"

I suppose I want to know her answer to this for two reasons. The first being it may be a clue to any possible romantic figure in her life at the moment, one step closer to finding out why she's been distancing herself from not just me, but all her friends. On the other hand, I want to know how to know when I'm in love. I want to know when I'm in love because I don't want to waste time telling Alex that I love him back, but I also want to be sure.