1985

T h i r t e e n

Chapter 13; Calvin Klein Briefs

Saturday January 19, 1985
Scarsdale, NY

I can't believe that I'm really about to say this.

"If we are getting back together for the sake of our parents leaving us alone, you can't see Cindy anymore" I tell him as I pull a t-shirt over my naked body.

"Fine," he pauses "then you can't see Dean"

"We aren't dating" I snap

"Yeah, right." 

Me and Dean? Yeah never.

"Come here" He reaches for my arm to pull me back into bed.

"Ryan, I don't think-"

He cuts me off "just get in here"

I groan but do as he says.

"What if Cindy is at a party I'm at?" He asks me.

"You two can be friends I just don't want you fucking her behind my back"

"I won't I promise" he places a kiss on my lips.

  He pulls away and lays his head on my stomach and I tangle my fingers in his blonde locks.

"I won't if you won't"

"I won't what?" I ask him

"Sleep with Dean"

Ouch I don't know why he gets the idea that I'm sleeping with Dean.

"He's just a friend." I tell him

"Okay I believe you"

Not that I need him to believe me.

"Amber I'm going home, your mom just left and isn't coming back till tomorrow and your dads flight got delayed, bye" Heather says through the door.

That's a lot of information to take in.

"Okay I'll call you tomorrow" I say back to her.

"Wanna stay the night?" I ask Ryan

"Yes"

He props himself over me his arms on each side of me.

"Amber, I love you" he places his lips on mine.

"Remember we're doing this to keep our parents off our backs"

"That doesn't mean we can't have any fun" he continues to kiss me passionately.

I wrapped one of my legs around his waist pulling closer to me. He was only wearing a pair of Calvin Klein briefs.

"Already" I laugh feeling his excitement.

"You just do these things to me" his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

We fooled around for a little bit and he fell asleep while we were watching a movie. Typical.

I threw on some black sweats and a grey hoodie and an oversized denim jacket.

I can't go out the window in my room to get to the roof or else I would wake Ryan so I went out through the hallway window.

I sat down pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

I've been meaning to quit but it hasn't been easy. This is something I've been struggling with for a while now and I know, it's gross trust me I know but it's so hard to stop.

"You know those things kill right" I hear someone say. His voice is too familiar.

"Well Walsh, you should be the last one telling me"

He sits next to me on the roof. "I know, I know, it's too hard to stop"

I let out a small chuckle.

The sky was clear and the waning crescent moon was illumination everything beneath it. It was a beautiful night.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

The look on his face shows concern "My grandfather is in the hospital and I just needed a friend, Carrie said you would be out here"

"Oh Dean, I'm sorry" I place my hand over his.

"They aren't allowing visitors and my mom is waiting in the hospital waiting room and I just didn't want to be alone" I can sense the frustration in his voice.

I squeeze his hand to show him that I care.

I hate seeing him like this. He wants to cry and let all his emotions out but I can tell he doesn't want to show me his vulnerable side just yet.

"I'm sorry, Ace, I just- he's so important to me"

He takes both his hands and covers his eyes. And rests his head on my shoulder.

I rub his back with my hand to comfort him.

"It's okay" I tell him

"Do you want to stay over? Billy is in the guest house but there's other rooms there if you want to stay"

"Thank you" he says before pulling me into a hug.

"Well I'm kinda cold and you should get some rest" I put out my cigarette and get up.

We both walk into the house through the window.

"Hey Amber?" He says

"Yeah"

"Would you come to the hospital with me tomorrow?" He looked hesitant

"Of course"

I reach the door nob to open my bedroom before he stops me once more.

"Amber, Thank you"

I turn to face him and pull him into a hug.

I pull away first and I walk into my room and Ryan was still sleeping.

I sigh before snuggling next to him and drifting off to sleep.