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July, 02, 2011
I just came back from orientation. It was fun! My OGLs were the studious lot, but that made me heave a sigh of relief too.
I had a really hard time trying to convince Mum and Dad for letting me attend the orientation camp. As my body cannot produce the hormone to counter stress, I must take steroids everyday… and inject them directly into my body whenever the stress became overbearing on me. The doctor always reminded me this is important, if not I will die. Well, it's really lucky that my orientation group turned out to be the family-loving type, and no the hard-core type. Well, maybe my parents warned the OGLs beforehand… I don't know. But that's good, in any case. If not… I could find myself going to the washrooms very often and bear with those painful injections.
Spotted a guy looking at me on the first day. Haha! Just knew I had my charms. I tried to stay calm, telling myself he just liked me because I was pretty. That's all. Anyway, his name is Zack.
However, on the second day we had to play this game at the beach. The poor guy got his shorts stolen and couldn't get out from the waters. Poor thing! I think… its bad to make others feel stressed and disgraced. I took his pants and swam into the waters for him. I think he's really grateful for that. Somehow, I caught his eyes and felt rather strange. Rin, dear Rin, you're not qualified to fall in love, not with the sickness that you have.
July, 07, 2011
I felt very sick today. It seems that I need the injection again. Lately, even though I've been taking my medications faithfully, it just can't maintain my condition well enough… Am I dying? Feeling too stressed about school? Whether my classmates would accept me, the poor little dying girl, or would they distance themselves from me? I'm afraid of loneliness. Really do.
Calm down Rin. You can do it!
July, 10, 2011
I had lunch with Zack. I could see he really likes me. I didn't know why I agreed to a date with him too. But guess that's okay! He looks honest and decent, seems like we will be really good friends. But as for boyfriend… well, it may not be possible.
July, 16, 2011
I survived the first week in school! :)
Shall be having dinner with him tomorrow. I wonder what should I wear? Lol! My favourite pink dress! Maybe I shall wear heels for the first time too. Sis just bought a new pair for me…
Never dated before… I think it will be a very sweet night. I want to remember it that way. Hmm! Shall practice walking in heels now!
July, 17, 2011
I feel dazed and exhausted…
Shouldn't have agreed to watch the fireworks. The loud thudding sounds sort of made my condition worse.
He suddenly hugged me. I was really taken by surprised but I could see he's real. I didn't know what happened too… and we kissed. I felt really sick and hyperventilated… it must be the loss of control of emotions that triggered my condition again. Before we went back, I quickly went to the washroom for an emergency injection.
It used to feel painful, but tonight the injection was bearable. Then… he even held my hand. I didn't know why I didn't resist… Maybe… I really like him? Ahh.. dunno! Really tired. Shall rest now.
Will I dream of him?
July, 19, 2011
He asked me whether we are together this morning. I don't know how to reply him. I really wanted him… and stay with him forever. Yet I don't know where this relationship would take us.
