I did a real big bad.
I cut a bit too deep into my skin. and it sucks because iguess its noticeable and today, I see leo. iknow I said I wouldn't ever talk to him for a while but im sure him seeing this is going to make him not want to even think about me anymore. im going to disappoint him so bad its just bad.
im not sure what to do with myself anymore. im a bad. I do this for attention?
I want to do this again. I was depressed already uhm two suicide attempts, I believe.
I don't want to go back to where I was but it seems like I have nochoice but too.
everything and everyone is leaving and im just lonely. but everyone has always told me its not as bad as it seems because theres always been worse. im going to take a nap and Ihope I wake up before 5 so I can be ready for leo.. I really want to see him again, I just have to ignore me.. bt I want to do it again. another battle ive lost between myself
------------------------
9:43 pm
(discord)
[leo]
idkwhybut
im
jealous
like
madjealous
i dont like it
the vibrator i mean
its gonna replace me
then what am i here for?
love?
then your just gonna find someone else
and then ill just be a friend
and then ittl go to just a hi there and there
and then poof
your gone
-----
CAN YOU BELIEVE HE FUCKING SAID THAT TO ME?????????
AFTER EVERYTHING I DO AND SAY TO HIM TO TRY AND PROVE THAT I STILL FUCKING LOVE HIM. GAH I FUCKING HATE HIM SO DAMN MUCH, I cant anymore.
