Never Like

Chapter 15

Once I'm back in school, it's easy to not think about Aden. All I do is think about other people's business and schoolwork.

I focus on biology - my weakest subject compared to math and physics. I sit with Sybil at a different table from our usual one, so she can have a better view of her crush, Antwan. I excuse Danatha from most of her activities, citing sickness, when I know she's with JD. Then there's Tonya. She's acting out again - big shock there. I don't even care why.

This morning, I got the preliminary results from one of the programmes. Two had already rejected me this week, so I couldn't bear to open the envelope at school. The chances are so slim - slimmer than the chance of ever seeing Aden Arrington ever again.

I know it makes no sense, but I miss him, and that makes me mad. Why am I already missing him when I know I can't have him?

It's cruel when I see his name on my phone screen later in the day. It says to expect his call at 11 p.m. to which I reply that I can't because I need to sleep to be alert in class the next day.

Talking to him would be like applying to these scholarships again after being rejected the first time. I need to move on instead of fighting for an impossibility. Even if he can speak to me for a bit, he still wouldn't be consistent. There's no point. I'd be setting myself up for disappointment.

He replies with a question mark and I send him a full stop. He doesn't reply after that, so I go straight to bed after studying, feeling my stomach grumble but taking it almost as penance for ever thinking I could successfully be in charge of my future.

That's when the doorbell rings, and Olive bursts into my room to tell me that Mackenzie is waiting for me. She brought a blueberry pie for Nancy; courtesy of her dear sister Leona.

"There's a party at Henry's. You coming? Nope, forget I asked."

"I will."

"When will you stop being a social slave to the melancholy posse?"

"I don't understand the words coming out of your mouth." I sigh, plunking the pie in one of the containers and covering it with a tablecloth.

"Come on, I need my cousin to be in my circle. You make me look bad."

I don't say anything at first, even though I'm mad. Mackenzie is always harping on about being cool and it's obvious why. Her beer belly and her chunky face are nothing to be proud of. No wonder she's gone and dyed the bottom half of her hair a tacky dark blue. She needs to set herself apart to seem confident - especially with the bombshell of a mother she has.

From Leona's tall and slender but curvaceous physique, luscious black long hair(Nancy is the one who dyed her hair red)and enticing feline eyes, all Mackenzie was able to get from her mother was her bad chin. What's more, she gets to look like trailer trash while her mother is a literal Instagram model.

And yet, here she is trying to tell me I make her look bad, insinuating she's better than me off the fact that people like having her around because she's their private stand-up comedian?

I really wish I could one up her. I cringe as I imagine appearing at one of her precious parties with Aden Arrington on my arm. That would make her tumble off her high horse. But I can't. Why? Because Aden is an impossibility and I'd do well to remember that, no matter what he says.

"Ever stop to consider that maybe you make me look bad?"

Mackenzie makes a face before responding.

"On your best days, you look like toothpaste that fell on top soil."

"Alright, tell Aunty I got the pie and it shall be delivered. You can go now."