Thor does not have a phone and probably won't ever get one. But what if ...
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headcanons !
I. TEXTS : Thor doesn't use any emojis when he texts. Not a single one. Never ever never. It's genuinely impossible to tell when he's joking, being sarcastic, and actually pissed about something based on the lack of any form of added expression. In fact, reading and accurately comprehending his texts is a true art form. So far Natasha is the only one who can always catch his drift & Thor finds it entertaining to watch her translate.
⚡️- there's two avenger group chats. The one with Steve and the one where they send memes / make memes about Steve without Steve. Except Thor always gets these two mixed up because he doesn't pay attention to what his big ol' finger is mashing. So rip to Steve Rogers for getting bullied on main. But don't worry, Thor always adds a 'whoops wrong group chat' so it's all good.
⚡️- Thor genuinely loves sending memes but not good ones, the kind of memes that your grandmother posts on Facebook with cats. He loves them ! He sends those more than actual texting. He also sends dumb YouTube clips of animals to all the group chats as he should.
⚡️- Thor always uses siri / his voice to text because the less he touches his phone the less likely he'll electrocute it. Also because texting with big fingers & teeny screen isn't fun. There's hella typos in his texts because it never picks up on his deep voice correctly. So if it's like reading baby babble don't @ him it would be the same if he actually wrote it anyway.
⚡️- Bruce never texts Thor back on account of Thor always texting him either dumb bitch stuff or concerning dumb bitch stuff that earns a ft call and a long rant of "Thor no"
⚡️- Peter schedules phone calls with Thor to flex that he knows Thor. So far it's all times for when flash is around or mj but one time Ned got a hold of his phone to see what would happen if he called him & almost got a heart attack
⚡️- oh yeah did I mention Thor always answers the phone in ALL UPPERCASE LIKE A MANIAC ?
II. CAMERA ROLL:
⚡️- Thor's camera roll his pretty much 30% pictures of friends 20% pictures of his animals 50% nudes of whoever he's dating at the moment. so I wouldn't recommend rifling through it but when he's fishing through it to show people pictures of his goats he forgets to give them a warning so sorry if you got flashed.
⚡️- Thor LOVES taking pictures of his off-realm travels and sending it to the avengers, him and Steve have this thing where they send Mjölnir back and forth other great distances & send each other selfies with it in weird places and context. The last picture he took with it was him balancing it on his head in Vanaheim.
⚡️- when Thor gets bored away from earth he also sends pointless selfies, mainly to Natasha because she sends pointless ones back too of them both pulling faces and standing on things. He also saves ALL of these to use as black mail at a later date. But he probably won't because she's his favorite person to text.
⚡️- Thor doesn't really wear clothes with pockets so catch his phone probably chilling out in the crotch of his pants.
⚡️- Thor never saves pictures of himself on his phone for very long. He'd rather use the space for people he cares about even though Tony has explained a million & one times that his phone camera roll is backed up by google photos.
III. GENERAL
⚡️- Thor calls his phone raven , so when he says he's going to send you a raven expect a text.
⚡️- he breaks/loses his phone SO much. Literally he's gone through more phones than he has poptarts. It's not always him frying them, sometimes he drops them — more like slams them. Sometimes he steps on them, one time he even just straight up left it on another realm, threw it because it was in his Mjölnir hand, etc... Tony is getting real tired of buying him new ones but Thor knows he'll miss is great GOOD MORNING!!! texts if he doesn't.
⚡️- Thor doesn't have any social media. Let's face it, he's the type of person to accidentally leak his own nudes (and then not care) / say some true but REALLY 'don't release to the public' type of stuff. But he does love it when Peter sends him funny Thor fan stuff from places like tumblr and Twitter. What he does have on his phone though is games, lots and lots of games. Thor is the PERFECT target for ads you see on apps because he always downloads them after seeing an ad. Except the word scrabble games, he's not into them. He also has to ask Tony permission to use his credit card for in game expenses after racking up hella expenses in temple run.
⚡️- Thor sucks at Mario kart mobile so bad it hurts.
⚡️- Thor's phone case is dinosaurs because dinosaurs are the coolest thing ever
⚡️- Thor's wallpaper is a blurry picture of Natasha pre-coffee that she almost killed him over and a blurry sleeping picture of Loki he had to super sneak and get. Both of them are scheming up ways to delete the photos for good but nothing has worked so far.
⚡️- Thor's contact names for the avengers, Loki and others go as followed
