She's Still My Affinity

The Black Veil Falls Over Her

Alexandre entered the room as a Swiss clock, 9am, never 8:45am, never 9:15 am, not even the apocalypse would changed this.

His behavior in the best Woody Allen style could drive anyone crazy, but in this case worked perfectly, his chaotic and timed personality ideally seated that of his boss.

And there she was, stylish in her own way, French to the point of irritation, some papers in hands; such particular hands she has, fingers heavy with chunky silver jewellery - always flapping, wringing and pushing hair from her face.
That's her, Fanny, or if you wanna go full official, Fanny Marguerite Judith Ardant, a Monegasque dame, she's delightfully friendly, polite and anxious to please yet simultaneously exudes a sense of imminent chaos and calamity, not to mention deliberate mischief-making.

She is so immersed in her reading that she does not hear Alexandre's entrance nor does notice his concise gaze on her.

"Very interesing I can tell" - Alex said, almost with the sound of a grin in his voice, almost.

And 'there it was' he thought, she's coming back to reality, looking exactly like someone who swam for too long and now it is time to leave behind the pool in which she found herself enclosed, between wild waters and broken dreams.

"Indeed interesing" - She murmured without even looking up - "but it shouldn't ..."

Alexandre have been working with Fanny for 14 loyal years, he knows pretty good by now how cryptic she could be, but there were times, like right now, when he found himself in terrible need of subtitles, confusion painted clearly on his face.

"I'm not sure I understand."

Fanny sighed, head finally straightening up, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Here" - She said and extended him the manuscript.

He was still watching her cautiously, waiting for some sign, when none arrived, his eyes fell on the script.

"Oh François Ozon, I have read the reviews about his latest film, Sous le saber, I'm guessing you'll say yes"

Fanny let out a bark of laughter, shaking her head.

"You haven't even read the damn thing, and you're already throwing it at me, very professional of you Alex" - She snapped back.

"Well, forgive me for dare to think this could be good, it says here it is based on Robert Thomas's play, I may have not read this yet, but my theater knowledge tells me this is a must" - His voice smug.

Fanny just rolled her eyes at that, looked away, almost sadly.

"She's there, she already signed" - She said in a whisper, and had it not been for the reservation of the room, Alexandre would not have heard.

"Oh ... " - It was all he could pronounce, and it was with that expression, that of a fish out of the water, with which he stayed for a while, while his face turned into a mixture of shock and pity.

He turned to meet Fanny's eyes only for a moment, skimming over the hurt he found there like blood over a stone.

She was too tired to even pretended, but she wouldn't cry, 'Tears are like diamonds, you can't waste them' she used to said to Alexandre over the years.

"Exactly, 'oh' ..." - It was all she would give.

He tried but mostly stuttered - "But she, after all those years, how can she... make any difference? ... she ..." - It felt almost like a burden, trying to put a name into a face way too familiar, it felt unholy in his mouth.

"For Christ's Sake Alexandre, Catherine, her damn name is Catherine" - Fanny yelled back - "You can say it you know? it won't bring some Egiptian curse on you" - She did not try to hide the resentment in her voice.

Fanny's thoughts started to run freely through the past, not matter how much she tried to locked them in a black cage, one way or another, they'd find their way back home, the reminiscence of Catherine were the odd lights way back home, to her 'noir' heart.

"I'm sorry Fanny ..." - Alexandre's words interrupted her thoughts.

His low voice jolted through Fanny's body.

She felt a tear slide down her cheek, and damned her weakness.

"No, I am the one who sorry." - A lock of brown hair fell in front of her face and she pushed it aside, frustrated at herself - "After all those years, I, I shouldn't ..."

She knew she could not afford any recklessness, not now, not after so much pain.

"I may regret this, but how much time have passed?" - He asked in such a delicate pattern, like she was some kind of ancient and quite expensive vase.

At last, Fanny looked up from her lap, her expression morphing from surprise to suspicion in an instant. Finally, she said - "21 years ... but who's counting right?" - and at that, Alexandre could have sworn she gave him away the saddest smile he ever witnessed.

He knew better by now, the silence became a rigid king, one proclaiming his kingdom over the room, and taking Fanny to the cold dungeon of her mind.

Such petty games were inopportune, though unsurprising, given Fanny's nature.

"I'll be in the study in case you need me" - Alexandre's voice taking on a hint of softness Fanny didn't know could be there.

Fanny couldn't answer back with words, but her eyes screamed 'Thank you, thank you for being here, for being my friend.'

Once alone again she studied her reflection in the mirror. She could not compete with Catherine in terms of narcissism, but even she had to admit that she didn't look half bad. Only her face betrayed any anxiety about the proyect ahead. She tried to relax, let her guarded expression fall away to one of neutral apathy, but the same tensed frown stared back.

Fanny was sure this movie meant little to Catherine, and Fanny was determined to prove it meant even less to her. She was not to be made the plaything of Catherine Deneuve. Not again.

Smiling through watering eyes, she went straight in search of Alexandre.

"Call Ozon, I'm jumping in the ship and I won't become a fucking Titanic"