She's Still My Affinity

She Leaves a Wound no one Can Steal

"Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again."

Fanny woke up to some distant but constant knocking. Catherine lay close to her, one arm over her waist, sleeping soundly. Fanny heartily begrudged it. But she kept the quiet whining next door from falling asleep again, and she carefully pulled herself out from under Catherine's arm, grabbed her dressing gown and slipped out of the room. However, when she opened the door to enter the pavillion to her surprise, there was him.

"Alex."

The man looked up. He sat in a comfortable wing chair and held some papers in his lap.

"Fanny" - He greeted softly.

"What's up?" - Fanny asked, stepping closer.

"Well, you two shall be called in 20 minutes with the rest of the cast. I thought perhaps you should know it" - Alexandre replied - "but I did not want to wake you."

There was no accusation in his voice, and the look he gave Fanny was calm and firm.

"Thank you for let me know, I pay you for it after all" - Fanny snapped.

"You love her more than I thought" - Alex said.

Fanny raised her head - "I love her more than myself, that's my curse" - She replied, grinning crookedly.

Alex did not flinch - "Or your blessing" - He simply said.

Fanny looked down, swallowed and looked at Alexandre.

"Both I'd say" - And suddenly a wave of misery broke over her happiness. She sank onto a small stool and looked up at Alexandre miserably - "Oh, Alex, now I'm really, really fucked up."

That surprised Alexandre then. - "You regret it?"

"That wonders you? She should be out of my sistem but somehow I can't get rid of her shadow, everytime she's near I feel intoxicated with the most marvelous sensation, it is like flying, it feel like dancing in the rings of Saturn, she makes me high, but then something happend and I find myself being thrown down to earth without a parachute to catch me."

She smiled painfully - "But at the same time I can hardly say these things and regret having slept with her. It would be a bold lie... There must be something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you Fann, nothing at all, love make this to us, all of us. And you should not regret it." - said Alexandre.

Fanny was silent for a while - "And what am I going to do now?" - She finally asked.

Alexandre smiled - "You go inside that room and wake her up."

Fanny chuckled - "That does not change my problems, but it still seems like a sensible proposition to me."

"Well, I'm a sensible man. And as such, I'm going to my job, my employer can be very bossy, you know?" - He said and smiled.

She smiled back - "Thank you Al, for everything."

He just nodded, stopped in the doorway and looked again at Fanny. - "You do not have to have a guilty conscience, you've only listened to your heart."

"But what my heart has done but a bunch of trouble?" - Fanny asked softly.

Alex shrugged - "Hapiness. For a little while. That's worth a lot." - With these words he disappeared.

She returned to the room. Catherine was still sleeping. She looked so calm and peaceful that Fanny could hardly bring herself to wake her up.