She's Still My Affinity

Let Your Love Wash Away The Pain

"Every heart needs a cutting part sharper than a blade to stab agony"

And there was Fanny, immersed in voices to which she should but could not recognize, she could see how their mouths moved, it seemed almost a theatrical act where she was a deaf spectatress, a foreigner where nobody spoke her language.

Catherine was right in front of her but it felt like the ghost of someone she once used to know, more then the woman who had held her in her arms hours before.

And she realized how they'll soon become strangers, who knew each other's heart, broken as they drift apart.

All her books were lying useless now, all her maps were only showing how she lost her way.

It was this crowded room that breaks her: everybody looking so luminous, so joyful and strangely young.

She was in terrible need of fold herself away before it burns her numb.

But she stood there, nodding at Ozon and praying for this meeting to end.

If only they knew the burden of smiling and being strong right this moment.

Unconsciously she looked at her watch every 5 seconds trying to check how much had elapsed, she could feel the sweat accumulating in her palms and resisted the urge to run her hands through that elegant red dress that her character, Pierrette would used the whole film.

Outside was raining intensely, she remembered those childhood days spent in Monaco, such rainy days they were, once, she had asked her mother why it rained so heavily and her mother's answer was: 'Sometimes, my dearest, the sky cries for those filled with sadness'.

Of course for a toddler of four years old this made no sense at all, but now, now it made all the sense.

This had never happened to her before in a job, to her acting was her own therapy, her ground wire, it was these little details as talking with her director or having small interactions with her co-workers that made her day brigther.

These little things made her feel secure, like matching coffee mugs. But, there are times when these small comforts are up against big challenges.

In the time shared with Catherine, she was sure love could bring out the best of her, such as the strength to keep hoping, but right now what surprised Fanny the most isn't what love could bring out, but who it can brings back.

Isabelle took a sit between Virginie and Emmanuelle, Fanny fought the urge to not look at her but she did it anyway, how was possible, she thought, that the same person giving away such natural smiles could also be exuding an air of superiority, which its left a trace of nausea in Fanny's stomach.

Oh but when Isabelle looked up at Fanny, no smile was there, staring sharply at her, Fanny knew her presence there had touch a raw nerve in the redhead.