Lost Heaven | Vkook | ENG

0: Lost

Please, don't judge my book only from first chapters and just leave. I have so much mistakes and i'm sorry, but with every chapter everything gets better, so please don't give up on this book. (If you see somewhere written SHE instead of HE, I'm sorry it's just the mistake of the translator.)It worths. I love u. Good reading... ✨🖤

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"Jeongguk, I'm not the only one, who wants it."
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I looked at the glass half full of wine on the table. With the weight I felt on my eyelids, my eyes closed and on the couch where I lay, I leaned my head back. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't tired, I just felt lost and desperate in my thoughts. My loneliness gave me more opportunities to hear the screams in myself, and I hated that loneliness sometimes.

Sometimes I wanted to have a lot of people around me and be a little distracted, but I was getting bored and overwhelmed very quickly in the crowd around the people. I couldn't feel good alone or with anyone else. I always felt lonely, because I had these weird things going on inside my head and I didn't think the others would understand me. That's why I chose to live alone anyway, but this loneliness was drawing me in like a black hole and I was getting too far away from myself.

I turned on the TV just to destroy the silence in the house, and I listened to the women who was talking in the commercials with occasional low voice. When I got home from work, I didn't even eat properly, I just wanted to drink wine. I don't usually drink much, but sometimes I miss seeing the beauty of that red liquid in my glass.

My eyes, accustomed to dim light, suddenly hurt when I looked at the TV. I turned my head and closed my eyelids hard. I picked up the file right next to me and started looking through the photos.

I loved doing my job. People's naked bodies always seemed like art to me. Moles in different places on each body reminded me of the bright stars of a hidden universe. I don't know why, but whenever I saw a lot of moles in someone's body, I was very impressed and often expressed my admiration.

The model I photographed the other day was Miss Winnie Harlow or her with real name, Chantelle Brown-Young, who I have long admired for her unique beauty. When she was only 4 years old, she had a disease called vitiligo, which causes her skin to change color in some places on her body. She did not overreact to all the sarcastic comments when her friends at school called him 'zebra', but rather gave them their answers in a pleasant way. Although she had had a hard time in her old years because of her illness, she had become a model after many famous fashion firms over the years. So she began to love and accept herself as the way she was.

She was quite a nice woman. The first time I started to talk with her, I felt like I was transitioning into a different dimension. I could talk to her about everything, because she was knowledgeable about everything.

He was born in Canada in 1994. She had long, black and slightly wavy hair up to just above her hip. What was most evident on her broad face were her long and thick eyebrows. Her plump lips were covered with white spots due to her illness. This stain was on the inside of her eyes, a little higher than the two eyelids where the root of her nose began. She had a tall, thin body, and every corner of the body was adorned with those white spots.

Although she hesitated a little when I asked her to be my model, I finally managed to convince her and she agreed.

I really couldn't believe I was still taking pictures of her and I spent a long time looking through the file. This exhibition I held this year was important to me and I was trying to be the best I could but it still felt inadequate. I still felt like I hadn't found exactly what I was looking for.When I stood up a little bit, the last sip of my glass floated away between my lips and my hand reached to the wine bottle on the table. When I turned the bottle over to pour some more, I realized it was empty, and threw it in the other corner of the couch. I really liked the taste of the wine, and I wanted to drink more, but I knew if I drank more, I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow.