Lost Heaven | Vkook | ENG

13: Spark

'Cause I have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors
To find some peace and quiet right behind a wooden door"

- Halsey '100 letters

...

When I came down the same steps again, I paused in front of the familiar door for a while. When I walked through that door on the first day, I couldn't fit in, and my palms were sweating with excitement. But now there was an emptiness in me, and there was no trace of my excitement. I was empty, I was in indescribably complex emotions. It's been like this for days, and I knew that no matter what I did, I wouldn't be able to go back to the way I was until time passed. Honestly, I didn't want time to go by, to erase his trail, but I felt like all the doors were closed to me.

I had been investigating him for days, but I found out that no one had ever been close friends with him. The only thing I did was look close to Namjoon, and I asked him, but he said some weird things to me, or he tried to tell me something, but I couldn't figure it out because I wasn't in my right mind. His phone's been off every time I've called since, and he's never gotten back to me. I couldn't explain it to myself in a rational way, because it wasn't normal for him to just disappear like that, but I didn't even want to think that something bad had happened.

Now I really needed him to be with me right now, his arms around me, his smile. I missed everything about him, and it was so hard to bear my desperation. It was such a familiar desperation that Taehyung made me feel more helpless than I had ever been before. I've never been faced with such feelings before, feeling like a novice, like a little boy who lost his first love. It was so hard for me to stop my eyes from watering for no reason.

I took a deep breath, looked at the bags in my hand, and when I opened the door to the hall, I walked in looking around. Almost everything was complete and only a few photos were missing. The places were shining bright, the three light systems brightened the interior in a way that did not tire the eye, and this beautiful setting was accompanied by classical music. I turned my head to look at the walls, but I couldn't mind that a glance it would hurt like this. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. My steps led to Francesca's room.

It was early in the morning, and it was supposed to be opening this afternoon, so everything had to be done. I couldn't believe that I had made this opening in such a short period of time, because I had been working on it for so long, but now I couldn't even enjoy it.

Francesca said she'd be back later, so I walked into her room without knocking, and I left my bags on the edge. When I straightened my body, I turned around to close the door, but I was frowned upon by the photo of Taehyung I saw on the wall. When I closed the door slowly, I kept my eyes from the picture and pressed my lips together in anger. I looked at the working projection device and I turned it off in a flash.

"Bitch." When I whispered to myself, I sat in one of the only seats across the table, my angry gaze sewn against the wall. This woman was really obsessed with Taehyung, and even though I had to be nice to her as a courtesy for how much cooperation we had, I could hardly keep my mouth shut anymore and not say anything. What was I supposed to say, though? I couldn't even protect the man I loved.

I regretted going to her house that night, but I was drunk. My eyes could see what it wanted to see, my brain was deluding me, not that girl's voice, but her deep voice. But I wasn't that drunk, just that my pain was too much, and even if I drank a little, I was shattered. I was so close to making a mistake, that I was too little to let myself into the arms of that girl, thinking it was him, but luckily I recovered.

At the end of the night, Francesca was in her own bed, and I fell asleep on the photos of Taehyung lying on the floor.

I was sitting calmly, and suddenly the door opened and I jumped in my place.