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17: A flame in the dark

The Neighbourhood - Reflections

...

It was as if there was a butterfly between my palms, staring into eternity. A dead butterfly was teaching me to live.

...

I was feeling a little grumpy and half as I woke up alone in my bed in the morning. The reason Taehyung left was Choi, and no matter how much I wanted to destroy him, I didn't want to disrupt his plan, nor did I want to act with sudden anger. My hands tingle and my heart aches with intense jealousy when I think of that man beside him. I hated desperation, but believing it wouldn't last too long, I was waiting for the days that would be beautiful, just waiting for us.

On the one hand, I was thinking about Jimin. He would certainly not approve of my decision, and of course he would not be free from his constant thoughts about Taehyung being unstable. I was going to miss him so much, and maybe just him the most. I haven't been seeing my parents in a long time, and I don't think they're worried about me, so it would be nice to just see them one last time, because it's never clear what's going to happen in life.

When I had my breakfast, I looked up a text message on my phone. Taehyung had given me a location and added an hour later to come there. He said he couldn't pick me up because of Choi and he apologized for it.

It was driving me crazy that we couldn't be free because of this guy. I was filled with anger, and I was hard-pressed not to do anything really crazy. Who had the right to restrict a peoples freedom like that? For a few seconds of pleasure, he had poisoned Taehyung's years. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to find that man and kill him with my hands around his throat. I wanted to kill him slowly, to whisper in his ear the pain of all he had inflicted, to watch him die slowly. Someone like that shouldn't have gone unpunished.

When I texted Taehyung back, he told me that he would introduce me to Jonghyun and Seokjin, and then we would spend some time together alone. It was just the part where the message said the two of us would be alone that made me smile, because no matter how many nights he was with me, I always missed him.

...

"Can someone get me an ashtray?"

The first thing that caught my attention was the guy with the broad shoulders, who called out to one of the waitresses behind him, and he must have raised his voice, because she jumped out. When he turned to us, he smiled wide and rubbed the fabric of his jacket with his hand. He couldn't stand still, he kept turning around. He seemed like a fun guy, and he was very warm to me.

"Jin, you've been smoking too much lately. I don't know how many cigarettes you have today."Jonghyun, with his sweet and broad smile, had hit the shoulder of the man next to him.

"What, man! The lungs are my lungs, if I want I'll fuc-"

"Yes, I know," he looked at me implicitly, and Seokjin's gaze turned to me. "Don't, shut up."I couldn't help laughing at the two of them.

"No, relax. It's not a problem for me."

"I like this kid."He said," Seokjin raised his eyebrows, and his gaze went to Taehyung, who sat quietly beside me, watching me, and then to Jonghyun. "Boys! It looks like we're all going to be together for a long time, so it's important to be close with each other."I nodded and approved of him and looked at Taehyung. He put his hand under his chin, his elbow on the table, listening to the conversation. When I took my hand to his hair, he looked at me and smiled, wrapped his hand around my shoulders.