Criminal Minds One-Shot book

JJ: Admiring From Afar

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Relationship: Crush

Fluff, Angst

POV: First person- Reader

Gender: Female

A/N: This is a songfic for 'She' by Dodie Clark. She is an AMAZING singer and I definitely suggest checking her stuff out. Her new song 'Boys Like You' just came out and it is a BOP! 

A/N: The lyrics are in italics and the normal story is in normal font. Enjoy!

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Am I allowed

To look at her like that?

Could it be wrong?

When she's just so nice to look at?

        I was staring at JJ through her open blinds. I just couldn't focus on my report anymore. She was just too beautiful. 

       "(Y/N)...," Spencer whispers. "You should just talk to her." Spencer was the only one that knew I was a lesbian. As my roommate and best friend, it wasn't too easy to hide from him. He also knew about my crush on JJ.

       "I can't do that Spencer. She's straight. AND she's married to Will. They have Henry. I can't just tell her. It's not that easy."

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

Oh, you would find her 

In a polaroid picture

And she,

Means everything to me

Oh Oh (Oh, Oh

Oooh) (x2)

           I remember when I first joined the team, JJ was one of the most welcoming. Don't get me wrong, I felt included but I wasn't very comfortable yet. JJ gave me a warm smile and a reasonable person to talk to. Her hugs were the best. She didn't hug me very often but I savored every single one. I could smell the apple from her perfume. It was intoxicating.

         "I know that it's hard, (Y/N). But, you need to take a leap of faith. You'll regret not knowing," Spencer tried to reason. But I wasn't having any of it.

        "And I'm fine with that, Spencer. Please stop talking about it," I beg. He leans back in his chair, a sigh emitting from his lips, effectively ending the conversation. I turned back to JJ's window, seeing her typing. I sighed, wondering about what the hell I was going to do.

And I'll be okay

Admiring from afar

Cause even when she's next to me

We could not be more far apart

        I would always sit next to her on the jet. It was the only way that I could ever get close enough to her without being suspicious. I have bad anxiety on the jet so whenever we're taking off, touching down, or there's turbulence, I would grip my seat hard and squeeze my eyes shut. JJ would always grab my hand, trying to calm me down. She knew how to handle these situations. Her mom instincts told her what to do. And for that, I was grateful. 

       I would always calm down when she held my hand. But she never let go until after I told her that I was okay. 

And she tastes like birthday cake, and storytime, and fall

But to her,

I taste of nothing at all

         When it was Henry's birthday, I saw the abundance of love in JJ's heart. She loved her son and husband with such voraciousness. You could see the love in her eyes.

         I felt selfish as I sat in the chair. I was selfish to want that love. I was selfish to want her. I was sitting at her son's birthday party wanting to kiss her. To call her mine. 

         'She would never love me like that,' I thought. 'I'm nothing more to her but a co-worker. I need to get over her. I'm just acting stupid and selfish.'

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

Oh, you would find her 

In a polaroid picture

 And she

Means everything to me

Yes, she

Means everything to me

 She (eee)

Means everything to

Me

              Little did I know that JJ was going through the same battle. 

              "What am I going to do, Spencer." JJ paces the room. "She means everything to me. But so do Henry and Will. Jesus, Spence."

             Spencer sat there calmly, a mischevious glint in his eyes. He knew how this would end and, damn, was he excited for it.

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A/N: That sucked ass, but it's okay (No it's not). I hope you guys enjoyed that. Definitely check out some of Dodie's other stuff. I hope you have a nice day :)