I'm going to die in College [TodoDeku]

Can we talk

-Midoriya's POV-

One of the worst ways to wake up, is by the alarm from your phone you hear every morning. "Finally awake. your alarms has been ringing for at least five minutes" I rub my eyes and look at my right, seeing Iida sitting at his table doing some writing.

"Good mo- no wait, where were you last night?" 

He turns to me and fixes his glasses "What do you mean? We are in college, we do dumb stuff here, and die of all that homework" 

I stay silent for a moment and hold eye contact "You are telling me that? You Iida, maybe the person who would never do dumb stuff and who, clearly, doesn't see college like such a place" we still hold eye contact, and he still doesn't say anything "Besides it wouldn't make any sense if you were out. You knew what happened yesterday. You and Uraraka wouldn't just go on a party, or whatever, knowing in what situation i'm in. Wait, why am I so calm? You know what fuck you, I don't care, just leave me alone".

I stand up, as angry as I can, and walk in the bathroom slamming the door behind me. "We had a good reason to be gone last night. You better talk with Todoroki-kun about it" I hear him shout from the other room.

I take a shower, brush my teeth, I think I don't need to list the things you do in the morning, you know it already. However, I get ready for class. 

When I got out of the bathroom, Iida is already gone. I think he has early classes, not as early as my early classes.

I put on some normal clothes and head out of the dorms.. I go in a McDonals to get breakfast, well if you can call a happy meal breakfast. But I'm doing better than the people who don't have  any breakfast.

After I finished eating, I head to my first class. Hoping not seeing Todoroki there. I surprisingly have a more classes with him than I thought. Please skip the classes, you're a popular boy and have a rich family, you don't need that knowledge. However I need fuck my brain with this knowledge.

I walk in and sit down in the front, so that I can focus better and not get distracted by anything. 

More students walk in and I spot Todoroki between them, and he me. We hold eye contact for a couple of seconds and he, apparently, decided to go in my direction. I break eye contact and look at my hands, man that is such a cliche thing to do. Look at your hands after you break eye contact with a person you lov- no it doesn't matter.

"Hi" he sits down beside me and I still look at my hands 

"Hi". 

We sit in silence for a moment, waiting for Aizawa-sensei, or maybe something that will break this uncomfortable silence.

"So how have you been?" 

I look up, but still not at him, and answer "Been better. You?" 

"Same here" I nod and the silence continues. 

"How's your mother?" 

Well he really acts as if he didn't break my heart "I don't know, something else happened in the last couple of days, so I couldn't think of her and hadn't had the time to give her a visit" I turn my head to the right and look him straight in the eyes. His eyes widen a bit and he nods.

"Listen Izuku, I'm sorry" 

"What exactly are you sorry for?" it's always better to ask this first, what are you sorry for, when the person doesn't know what they're sorry for, don't forgive them. Then they either denying that it's their fault, don't know that they broke someone, or they are just an asshole and just want the friendship, or whatever you had, to continue.

But I think it's pretty clear what he did, right. If he doesn't know what he did, then he's an idiot.

"I'm sorry that I made out with that guy on the party, I'm sorry that I acted like I don't care, I'm sorry that it looked like I wanted to end things, I'm sorry that I left you alone back at the party, I'm sorry that I couldn't and still can't explain why I even agreed on this game. I maybe thought about all this being popular stuff and, god that doesn't even make any fucking sense. I really regret these things. I really want to fi-" 

I shut his mouth before an apology tsunami will come out "Okay okay, lets talk about this after class? I don't want all these kids, well you can't call them kids, but you know what I mean, listen to us. And it's kind of weird talking about it in a not private place? You understand?" he nods and I remove my hand of his mouth.

After class before I could leave, what I really tried because I'm not ready for this conversation right now, he stopped me to, you know, sort things out and talk. No really it's been, what now, one or two days since it happen. 

Like I'm ready to talk about it. From the other side, I want to fix it, but that just make me remember that I'm trash. That's basically what I said to him back then, right? 

"So where do you want to go?" 

"The cafe we always went to?" I nod and we head to the cafe.

When we arrived there, we ordered something to eat and drink, like always. And sat down on our regular place. This cafe is like my third home. First home, with my mom. Second home, well the dorms. And third home, literally this cafe.

"So can we please make this fast?" 

"Why, this was your only class today and you don't even have any homework" 

I avoid eye contact "Maybe I got emails?" I am terrible at avoiding people. Actually no, I'm really good at this. 

Man give me a medal. I shouldn't be proud of this, this is really something you shouldn't be proud about.

I finally make eye contact with him "Okay no, take as much time as you need" he gives me a soft smile and I, try, to return it. I probably look really broken.

"First I want to say, I'm sorry"

Edited