M. K. B.'s Life Journal (Not A Book)
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    M. K. B.'s Life Journal (Not A Book)

    Casuale

    Republished [Don't read, if you don't care] This journal will be filled with random entries of my thoughts, feelings and whatever else comes to mind. It's kinda like my current life story with rambling in between, but I'm trying not to put too much...

    #caribbean #girltalk #journal #lifestory #lifestyle #tea #university

    Entry 11 - October 2019

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    Entry 11 - October 2019
    Date: 1/10/2019
    Feeling Unappreciated?
    I feel really unheard and unappreciated in my household. No seriously, I feel like I should just not talk at all or simply not be here. Now this is a Caribbean household, so it's pretty normal. It really shouldn't be tho. It feels super unhealthy.
    I definitely don't want my future children feeling this way.
    Wow, I'm surprised I didn't make this a rant.
    I feel like stuff like this is why I want a boyfriend so bad. It's like a combination of many things like lack of a father, my mother low key never actually teaching me anything outside of morals, academics and a little bit of Christianity; and somehow I'm supposed to be just outgoing and doing stuff I was never taught or encouraged to do, former friends taking advantage of my "niceness" and just being super alone lately. Me wanting a boyfriend is low key me wanting companionship and someone to vent to, help and encourage me. Basically, I need be loved and heard cause I never felt that way till guys started tryig to get with me. This is unhealthy, btw, mentally and emotionally unhealthy and can become toxic. Sigh.
    I wanna move out but I'm broke and scared, mostly broke.
    Date: 2/10/2019
    Scary To Sweet
    Saw my old Math teacher from High School today. She used to scare the shit out of me. But she hugged me and was excited that I was still doing math.
    Date: 11/10/2019
    I Got The Job
    I got a phone call that I have to come in to work on Monday. I'm not ready lol. There's this weird fear about it.
    Date: 14/10/2019
    First Day...& A Flirter?
    First day of work and en do shit. My head hurts tho.
    A guy might have been flirting with me. Not sure we just stated talking and I shared too much like usual and he ask for my number when work was over, but I didn't give him. Told him find me on Facebook. Lol.
    Date: 15/10/2019
    Not Interested, But Bored
    Didn't get any work to do yet. Talked on messenger with one of the guys I now work with. I'm not entirely sure but he might be interested in me. Maybe.
    Date: 17/10/2019
    Oh I Exist Now
    My sort of ex finally acknowledging my presence at work. Pass in front of me and say my last name like I never saw him naked. Steups. Pass by me a couple of times during the day and just watch me. 
    Yesterday he and the guy that most likely interested in me was playing some shooting game on their phones. He had the most wins. He's cuter than the guy that's interested in me too, and he cut his hair and his curls so popping and sexy, I wanna run my fingers through it.
    Anyway, finally got work to do today. I don't like it.
    Date: 18/10/2019
    Pretty?
    The boy I does talk to in work tell me I does look pretty, without anyone else, I think, hearing. My response was huh.
    Date :24/10/2019
    Today Was A Day
    Well I'm going somewhere. Lol.
    From that cold ass place to this hot ass car.
    Definition of a hotbox.
    #weed No I not partaking. Update: Is not weed. Is hemp?
    Now at the beach eating doubles.
    Well, back at work.
    Love my new friends. 🥰
    Is like having devils on my shoulder but they have an angelic side too.
    A.N. : For some reason when I published this it didn't stick. Hopefully it stays this time.
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