Your Friend, Jordan

Thirteen

Four weeks earlier..

"Oh man, oh man. Today's the day! Today. Is. The. Day, guys!" Jordan said as he punched Troy's arm. A large grin on his face, he was the only one thrilled for this hockey practice as we walked within the parking lot, heading into the arena.

"Jordan, shut up man! We get it, we know, we've known for weeks now," Troy said, punching his arm back as him and the others laughed. Smirking a bit as well, I hiked my bag over my shoulder further, shooting my head down to the ground the moment Jordan looked over towards me. Him, walking on the very right of the group, I remained on the far left side, as we stood as far away from each other as possible, without it looking suspicious to the other guys. Jordan and I hadn't been on great terms, we had barely spoken to each other, hardly looking at each other even. Everything was off, awkward around us now, it had been for months. Ever since that day in the woods, by the tracks, after the rest of the guys had left.

***
  "Jordan, we are.....we are just friends. Best friends. That's it," I had said to him after pulling away from that kiss, and the two of us were in complete shock. Stunned, I could barely speak, I didn't know what to say. I had no clue what was going on, what this situation was all about. I was extremely confused, maybe the most I had ever been.

What was this? Was Jordan gay? Did he like guys? Did he like me? I mean, if he liked guys, whatever, that didn't matter, not to me. I couldn't care less if he was into guys or girls. But, if he liked me, like that? What would happen? What would happen with us? Would we just forget about it, and just continue as friends? Would we just forget all of that happened, and just, move on? Or would he not want to be my friend anymore? What would happen with us? Would this ruin everything? Or would this only be some rough patch or bump on the road, and it's something we get over? I don't know.

"It was just a joke man. Don't take it so seriously, god. Chill out," Jordan had said to me the moment I had pulled away, and he shook off that panicked and shocked look he had plastered onto his face moments before. He shook his head, beginning to laugh, putting that brave face on as he played it off cooly.

Beginning to get up, he shook up his hair as he strutted away from the tracks, further into the woods as he left me there, all alone. Alone, still rendered surprised and shocked, stunned and frozen, as I was left speechless by the tracks.

***

We hadn't spoken since that day, not really. A few glances in the halls, in class and at practice, but that was all. He hadn't texted me, he hadn't called me, nothing. If we hung out, we only hung out together around Troy, Daniel and Ethan; our shared and common friends. They didn't know a thing, nothing that happened between us, they were clueless. It was just something you don't tell others. And that was better of course, I didn't want things to get out. It was just, awkward I guess. I didn't know what to make of the situation, I didn't know what to make of Jordan and I's relationship anymore. And it didn't help that we stopped talking, quit communicating, not talking things through. It seemed as if we both refused to talk about it, ignoring it completely. I don't know, things were just, weird now. And if I'm being honest, I didn't know how to fix things. I wanted to go back to the way we were; always around each other, always talking, always there for each other. But now, we hardly looked at each other. Everything was just off. And I could tell he felt the same way.

Entering the building, the entire team followed behind us as we were the first ones to enter, heading off passed the main area. The arena was filled with voices suddenly, unlike the silence within the cold and stiff air moments before. The lights within the coaches office, near the front of the arena by the rink were still turned off, indicating they were still on their way.