Your Love Is My Drug (Camren)

19. Make a Beast of Myself

Chapter 19

The reluctance to eat had, of course, been a keen prediction of what was to come.

Camila's whole body tightened for extended periods of time as she retched; sore muscles screaming out in protest at being forced to contract with the vomit that poured from her mouth. She coughed and gagged, spitting out excess saliva and the foulness to her mouth. With her face twisted in repulsion and discomfort, she dropped the toilet lid down and fumbled to flush it.

Her body didn't feel like it was close to being ready to stop rebelling against her and her abdomen tightened as an indication but Camila paid no mind to it when the sound of the toilet came from far away and she began to lose her sense of balance, unsure of how the room could appear so far away yet so close at the same time when colours slowly began to pour into her vision, eventually steering towards a murky black.

Camila blinked several times to combat it, reminding herself of her surroundings. She blindly put her hand out towards the floor and followed it, her back pressed against the cool linoleum as soon as she was distantly aware of another tightening of her body, this time more powerful, and a burning hot sensation at the back of her throat. Now that she was reclined, it was easier to give in to the way she wanted to sleep and heal and Camila stopped fighting it.

The next thing she was aware of was her name being called like she was under water, then that something hot and wet was leaking out of her mouth as she coughed violently and wetly. It made her throat sting like nothing else. Her eyes opened to see colour instead of blackness, more specifically a flash of dark hair before the floor rapidly appeared in front of her face at having been pushed over to her side.

It was not even a moment before Camila realised that she was choking and that the arms around her, quickly guiding her farther over so that she was hovering over the floor, were Lauren's. Instinct had Camila grip the floor as the food she'd eaten earlier pumped out of her. She couldn't feel how tightly Lauren was holding on to her in return.

By the time she was finally finished and drawing in desperate breaths between her sobs, she could feel the way Lauren had her forehead pressed against the space between her shoulder blades. Camila could feel and hear her crying, and she dropped her head lower; her mouth opening in a silent scream and the loudest sob that would never leave her lips. It made her chest throb.

"You have to let me call someone," Lauren pleaded when Camila pushed her arms away from her shortly after. "Please. An ambulance, a-a nurse, I don't care."

Camila barely managed to pull herself away from Lauren and avoid the vomit on the floor at the same time. She slumped back against the wall, catching the tears on Lauren's face and how she looked so utterly at a loss. It made Camila's blood boil.

"Like that was withdrawal," she said, her voice flat and rough. "That was you forcing me to eat when I said no." It didn't bother her when Lauren mouth quivered. If anything, it made it worse.

"What am I supposed to do?"

Camila's eyes slipped closed and she swallowed to combat the dryness of her throat. "Getting the fuck away from me would be a good start."

"Not when you're—"

"Seriously," Camila insisted slowly. Eventually it proved to be effective. As soon as she heard the door click shut she opened her eyes and looked to the mess she'd made. Her face twisted at the sight of it but she found cleaning products to clear it up and had finished with it in minutes.

After that, she washed her face and brushed her teeth thoroughly, grateful that Lauren had spare mouthwash in there because hers was almost empty. Camila's weight was supported by the sink and she looked down to spit the minty green liquid out of her mouth, washing any traces of it away with water soon after. She placed her toothbrush down carefully and tipped her head up, staring ahead at her reflection.