Your Love Is My Drug (Camren)

20. Dust

Chapter 20

The next day Lauren only went into the spare room when she had to.

It was easier to manage once she saw that Camila didn't look quite so poorly and had been asleep four out of the five times she went in there. The water and crackers were replaced when necessary and the corners of her mouth curved up each time she saw the empty packets.

Lauren was watching TV in the living room when Camila walked around the corner looking freshly showered. Her eyes were no longer glassy. She still looked exhausted and uncomfortable, but it was different somehow.

Lauren turned the TV off and looked at her with a hopeful expression on her face. "Hi."

Some of Camila's nervousness faded at the warm greeting. "Hi." She sat down on the opposite side of the couch and reclined until she had her head on Lauren's lap, allowing her damp hair to be played with. It was soothing. She could have stayed there for the rest of the night but after a minute Camila sat up a little and turned her head. "Sorry, I forgot my hair wasn't dry. Do you want me to move?"

"I don't mind," Lauren assured, putting her hand back where it'd been once Camila lay back down. "You look better today," she said.

"Yeah, I feel a little better." Camila's hands rested on top of a book sitting atop her stomach. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Lauren, about everything I've said this week... all the horrible things, I'm so sorry." It wasn't Camila who had said those things. The darkest part of her had said them; the darkness that all of her demons lived and thrived in. Withdrawal had said them. "I didn't mean them," Camila insisted. "Any of them. I know you were only trying to help."

"I know," Lauren assured.

"You don't have to understand because I'm sick. If you're mad, I'd like you to be able to tell me."

"I was mad. You know, it wasn't okay. You hurt me and made me angry, and I told you about that each time it happened. But I'm not sitting here holding on to anything, Camila. I promise. You warned me that you wouldn't be yourself."

"Okay," Camila replied quietly. "But I would understand if you were."

Lauren's fingers raked through damp hair slowly. She noticed the book that Camila had brought in with her. It wasn't one of Lauren's; the cover was too worn. While Lauren had many favourite books that she had read over and over again, she always replaced a copy once the spine got a little too worn for her liking and donated the older one to charity or a library.

"What are you reading?"

"I'm not, I- I was going to give this to you in a few days," Camila said, her fingers smoothing over the cover that had curled on the right corner and had separated completely from the pages within. "It's one of my favourite things in the world."

Camila looked up at Lauren to pass it over and it was accepted wordlessly.

Lauren looked at the cover and title. Little Women.

"You want me to have it, or read it?"

"Have it," Camila said, looking close to a smile. "And read it, if you haven't already. I think you'd like it."

"Why?" Lauren asked; her voice softer with wonderment.

"Because I don't know how else to thank you for this. For everything."

She placed the book down on the arm of the couch and then lowered her hand again, instead holding the side of Camila's face. "Well, you start off by saying the words 'thank' and 'you', and the other person will generally respond with one of about five typical phrases, but in this case only one is really appropriate."