Weightless (lashton au)

Chapter seventeen

^^^that picture may or may not be the reason why I'm so unstable

I THINK I GAINED THREE POUNDS FROM HALLOWEEN DAMMIT
I was a witch ooo so original I know

Let's see if I can try to make this chapter not sucK idk I'm sorry I always say that wow don't judge me okay I'm just a middle-class American teenage girl with self-esteem issues
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"In time you'll find that we can sober up,
clean up any dirt so we can open up.

These wounds have been open for forever now.
Come on, be strong.

Your mind has gotten the best of you.
You've done enough and you are enough.

Let's fall asleep tonight,
I'll hold you close and show you you're not broken."

~ You Kill Me (In A Good Way) by Sleeping with Sirens

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Ashton's POV

Would I kill myself?

Of course, I have no way of really knowing-the real question is, should I kill myself?

And I used to be so sure of the answer, but now I'm not so sure anymore.

Luke hasn't left me alone ever since he found out about me relapsing, his simple gestures that he didn't do before were almost getting on my nerves, like freaking out if I take longer than three minutes in the bathroom.

"Ashton, are you okay?" Or "how are you?" were constant things Luke would say to me, and somehow these words seemed to take up physical space because lately I found myself feeling cramped in Luke's apartment.

And after dealing with Luke's overprotectiveness for a week, I finally snapped.

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Reaching for a glass on the top shelf of the cabinet, I stood up on my tip-toes to try to get to it, but to no avail.

Muttering a curse under my breath, I considered climbing onto the counter until an arm reached out from behind me and easily got to the glass.

"Here you go," Luke smiled cheerfully as he handed it to me.

"Thanks." I mumbled, gripping the glass tightly and turning around to open the refrigerator. Grabbing the water pitcher (because tap water is gross) I took a step backward and bumped into something solid and familiar and warm, Luke's chest.

"Jesus Christ, I thought you left already." I gritted my teeth as I slammed the refrigerator door shut. I turned around and set down the pitcher and my glass, completely ignoring Luke's presence with a huff in annoyance.

"Sorry?" He sounded hurt at my obviously moody responses. But I was just getting started, and I couldn't control the next few things that came out of my mouth,

"You're sorry? For the past week you've been hovering over me like I'm a fucking child Luke, I hate it and I hate that I never have time to myself anymore because you won't leave me alone and I feel so cramped and I-don't you trust me?" I spat, and Luke blinked twice in shock at my outburst,

"I'm sorry, I just care about you a lot, y'know?" Luke's tone changed from gentle to harsh so fast that I wasn't prepared for everything else he had to say, "and its so damn hard not to go fucking insane when I'm constantly worrying about you and if you're going to hurt yourself, and sometimes I can't take it-"

A felt a painful twist in my heart, "Am I a burden to you?" My voice was practically at a shouting-level, and with a pang I realized we were fighting. We've never...fought before. Ever. Not like this.

And before Luke could speak, I quickly interfered with that thought in mind, "I'm sorry, I just...I appreciate that you care about me, but I need a little space sometimes. And I'm sorry for...being a burden." I mumbled, my eyes on the floor.

Luke studied me thoughtfully for a moment, biting on his lower lip as he felt himself calm down a bit.

"Ash...you're not a burden to me, you never have been," he breathed, taking a step closer towards me, his gaze softening, "and I'm sorry for being overprotective, it's just...a habit, I guess. I don't know."

We stared into each others eyes for a few seconds, not thinking anything in particular, just observing. I never noticed how cute Luke's nose was, or how full and pink his lips were-

Luke's arms cut my thoughts short as he wrapped them around me, pulling me into his chest. No more words were said about the previous conversation, we both knew that we would have fights (minor or major) and it was normal. It was okay.

Luke nuzzled his face into my neck, smiling against the skin.

"Wanna make out now?" I couldn't help but have a few giggles escape past my lips,

"You're stupid," I looked up at Luke and saw him pouting, "but so am I."

"So is that a yes?"

"Maybe." Luke gripped my waist, biting his lip impatiently.

"That means yes, right?"

"Maybe-" And finally, his lips cut me off.

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Filler chapter thing I guess?? I'm planning on the next chapter actually having an influence on the whole plot but who even knows anymore

AND WHEN DID I GET 1K FOLLOWERS WHAT ¿ SGFANDFSA GUYS OH MYGKF SERIOUSLY IM LUCKY THAT PEOPLE ARE EVEN TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY SHIT WOW I'm crying ily guys so muchh ~Hannah