Weightless (lashton au)

Chapter nineteen

^^i had to put this picture at the top because I'm actually crying at how cute and adorable and pretty Ashton is wOW my heart hurts

The fact that 1d and 5sos won all of the awards they were nominated for at the AMAs makes me sO happy you don't even understand I'm so so proud *cries in a corner*

I was just thinking that I've never actually completed any of my stories and that's so scary idk I don't even know but I'm pretty sure this one will be the first to be finished...obviously not that soon though haha

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"Give me therapy.
I'm a walking travesty,

But I'm smiling at everything.

Therapy...

You were never a friend to me,

And you can keep all your misery."

~ Therapy by All Time Low

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Luke's POV

"Therapy?" Ashton nearly choked, eyeing me with pure shock. "I thought you were-fuck-" he groaned in distress and crossed his arms, looking out the car window.

I knew it was kind of wrong not to tell Ashton I was taking him to therapy before he agreed to go in the car with me, but it was the only way. I'd like to think the unfamiliar road we were driving down was the 'road to recovery' but Ashton didn't seem to like the idea of that.

The radio played an unidentifiable song softly to fill in the tense silence. I gripped the wheel,

"I just want you to get better, Ash," I tried to keep everything from exploding into something it shouldn't be, but Ashton only seemed to be more enraged by it.

"Yeah, well talking to some random stranger about my problems and how messed up I am isn't going to help, Luke, it really fucking won't!"

I sighed, taking a turn into the parking lot of the building the lady on the phone had described. Shutting off the car completely, I turned to Ashton (noticing he was strangely quiet) and saw him looking out the window at the therapy center.

He looked...terrified. And frustrated. And a mixture of other things.

"Why are you making me go?" Ashton wouldn't look at me, his voice was delicate like glass but it held no real emotion.

"I already told you, I want you to get better."

Ashton quickly turned to me, his lip quivering slightly, "So you've given up on me?" He was assuming things again, and he always assumed the worst.

"No, no, no," I shook my head, "I will never give up on you, I just want you to have more help than me. I'm not...you need more than me." I rambled on, Ashton's eyebrows only creasing further as I bit my lip.

Did I say the wrong thing? It was hard to tell with Ashton lately-everything tips him over the edge. There's always something for Ashton to react to; making him either happy or sad or angry or a confusing mixture. His moods change so fast that I can't adjust to it and know what to say.

"Lukey," he whispered, looking over at me with a sudden sadness and pity, "you're more than enough. You've helped me so much, you're always there for me and that's all I need." A smile crept on my face,

"I love you," I blurted out, making Ashton's face flush red as he looked down at his lap shyly and chewed on his lip. We were just so forgiving and understanding with each other that it was almost impossible for a fight between us to really escalate. At least, that's how it was for now, and I hoped it would stay that way.

"I love you too,"

We sat there in silence, and I realized Ashton was already at least ten minutes late to his first session, but it didn't matter at the moment.

"A-and because I love you, I will go to therapy like you want me to," Ashton added shakily.

My heart swelled, and I didn't hesitate when I pulled Ashton into my arms and mumbled into his hair,

"Oh Ashton I'm so fucking proud of you oh my god," he instinctively curled into my chest, practically sitting on my lap, and I couldn't resist the urge to pepper the top of his head and his face with kisses. "Thank you thank you thank you," I muttered breathily between each kiss.

Giggles slipped past his mouth as I brushed our noses together; his smile was so contagious that I couldn't help but smile just as wide. As we simply stared at each other, our faces so close that I could feel Ashton's warm breath on my lips, he randomly blurted out,

"We haven't kissed in a while," his cheeks immediately turned red once he realized what he said. My hand rested gently on his hip, a small smile on my face,

"What do you mean? We kiss all the time,"

"I-I mean on the lips," Ashton stuttered, squirming around anxiously on my lap.

"Oh," was all I could say, because I realized it was true. We have been oddly distant lately (at least to us it was distant) and it made my heart sink a little.

"Look, I better go-" he started, trying to get off of me. I only wrapped my arms tighter around him,

"But I'm not done with you yet," I winked, and without a proper warning I tilted Ashton's chin and pressed my lips softly against his, only realizing then how much I missed the feeling.

I pulled away after a while, "Don't hesitate to call me-" I muttered breathlessly against his lips, only to kiss them again.
"If you don't feel comfortable, baby," his arms were around my neck by now as I kissed him again, "I'll pick you up." I finished, smiling softly at his pink cheeks and red lips.

"Okay," Ashton breathed, and I finally let him go.

I rolled down the car window as Ashton began to walk away, "You'll be fine," I reassured him, making Ashton look back at me and smile nervously.

He ended up being twenty minutes late to his therapy session, but neither of us were complaining.

Things didn't seem to be as bad as I thought they would be (a part of me honestly thought Ashton would strangle me for taking him to therapy), and I was almost hoping Ashton would be completely better soon in the near future (although, I didn't understand at the time that no one ever really recovers fully).

I was positive for a while once I got back home, everything was okay and I found myself strumming a happy tune on my guitar.

I was positive. Everything was okay.

Until ten minutes later, Ashton called me crying.

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Yay I feel like I've been updating everything more than usual and that's pretty coool

Maybe I'll update again today or tomorrow but who knows tbh I'll try if you guys want me to (since this chapter is a cliffhanger basically and I feel bad) yeah ~Hannah