AN: Warnings for Gerard Way, strong language, and light sexual content.
Well hello. My name is Tara Gydrare Wa (I know the middle name is odd, my mom is really white) but you can call me Ebony. Everyone does. Partially because I have long 'ebony' black hair and partially because I tell everyone that's my real name for attention. I did try to dodge my self imposed nickname by giving myself purple streaks and red tips but it still sticks because I'm still lying about my name.
But my hair dye misadventures have really made my icy, silvery, blue raspberry colored gorgeous blue eyes shine! People always tell me I look like Amy Lee when I cry. Of course, I'd rather be related to Gerard Way than look like Amy Lee because Gerard Way is a major, fucking, hottie. Period. If only we were second cousins. Or first cousins. I could settle for deformed babies if it meant they were my first cousin's babies, if my first cousin was Gerard because you know what that would mean. Wink wink.
I'm also a vampire (Just like Edward! He could be my other second cousin!) but my teeth are straight and white, just like me except not really. My Myspace page says 'Bisexual' on it on all caps with three exclamation points and I'm sure I'm like 2 percent Native American, but I have pale white skin just like Gerard when he wears 4 layers of foundation.
I'm a witch, and I go to a school of magic called Hogwarts. It's in England but I'm originally from America, because that's where the first Hot Topic was built and I know I materialized fully grown in the band merch aisle as soon as it was constructed. I'm 17 because that's how old Hot Topic is. It's the perfect age because I'm legal but not too legal. I'm a seventh year. I'm goth. I wear lots of black. I buy all my clothes from the eternal intellectual overlord bestowed upon my kind by ruthless late capitalism, Hot Topic.
For example, today I'm wearing something. Also, black lipstick and red eye shadow. I look like Marylin Manson's wife, Marylin Monroe after she died of acute barbiturate poisoning.
My day begins after I spent an hour in the mirror describing myself to a non-existent audience, but it's fine because it is. I start my day by walking around the Hogwarts grounds. It's snowing and raining, which I was very happy about because that means no sun. Also, I like being wet.
Some preps were thinking about looking at me so I gave them the finger.
Suddenly, I heard a very sexy voice. "Hey Ebony!" shouted the sexy voice. I looked up. The sexy voice was the sexy voice of sexy Draco 'Sexy' Malfoy, whose sexy voice was the sexy voice that I had just heard as a sexy voice.
"What's up Draco?" I asked, biting my lip like Anastasia Steel from 50 Shades of Grey.
"Nothing." he said shyly, not sounding at all like Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey but then again that's probably for the best.
Suddenly, just as I was about to make a Big Bang Theory reference that would've made him mine forever, my friends yelled my name across the schoolyard and I had to go.
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My Immortal -- Rewritten
FanfictionAlright, we all agree -- My Immortal was a very badly written fanfic. We disagree about whether it was intended to be a parody or not. I think it was, but that's besides the point. The point is that it was badly written. However, I think there's a l...
