The Voldemort and Stalin Chronicles

CHAPTER ONE: The Truth Be Told About Secret Desires

      Everything was going bad. Things were terrible and everything was a disaster. Stalin walked into the room only to see the servants resting on the couch watching TV. He yelled at them to get back to work as it was a special day, his wife was coming home. There were many things to do, yet it seemed none of the preparations had begun. Stalin was a great king, many people respected him. They loved him dearly, however ever since he had gotten married to Voldemort, people for some reason felt betrayed. they felt that stalin's love from them and vanished and that voldemort was getting all the love they deserved. They were angry and they wanted voldemort gone. but that didn't stop stalin from loving his wife dearly. He loved his wife with all of his heart and was even willing to die for her.

            They were interrupted by the opening of the door. "Your highness they're here" "ok i'll be there". Voldemort pushes Stalin onto the bed; "ok make it quick i have a meeting with my army of crackhead addicts." "yes yes sir" Voldemort slides off Stalin's shorts and gives his booty a firm smack. "Hmmmm slowly daddy." Voldemort ignores him and continues to push hotdogs into Stalin's asshole.

            Stalin felt like he was in heaven, no one had banged him this hard. At least not ever since Ussolenin. Voldemort did not give stalin mercy, he kept pushing it in deeper and deeper. Stalin asked him to go slower, but Voldemort just couldn't hear his pleas, Stalin then suddenly had a feeling. He suddenly had the urge to go and puke. So he pushed voldemort off of him and ran into the washroom. He puked as if the niagara falls was bathing onto the sink. As he came out of the washroom while apologizing to Voldemort, who seemed to have forgotten he needed to go for a meeting, he suddenly ran back in to puke again. It seemed as if stalin was having morning sickness. He felt a strong pain in his nether region. He collapsed to the ground as Voldemort came to his side. "Baby baby it's going to be okay" "ahhhhhhhhhh" was all he got in response. Leaving his husband in a pile of puke, Voldemort ran off to get help.

            "Quick get the doctors, my wife Stalin is giving birth." he shouted at the guards. There was sudden chaos as everyone ran to the main king headquarters. As Voldemort peeked into the room, it was right there. Shiny and beautiful as ever. Fresh out the womb. Greener than all the money in the world he could ever ask for.

            Shrek. Stalin had given birth to Shrek.

            Voldemort couldn't believe his eyes, he was the ugliest baby he had ever seen. He looked proudly towards stalin, thanking him for the previous little gift of trash he had just given him. " thank you my darling, my gorgeous sexy little slut. I cannot express the happiness u have given me by birthing this ass of a child. We will treasure him for all of life". However, Voldemort got nothing in reply. It seemed stalin was so tired from all the pushing, he had passed out. After all he had done work of great glory. This child birth of his was to go down in history. He had just produced a legend. A legend to be hated and rejected by all VSCO girls.

            As Voldemort continued to hold his little baby shrek in his hands, he noticed something going on with his stomach. It seemed as if shrek had something growing in his belly. As if he was growing as a human in total. Shrek was aging as the minutes passed by. He was just a tiny little piece of shit a minute ago, and a few minutes later, he was a giant piece of shit. However, soon after shrek had turned into a complete adult, his stomach hasn't stopped growing. It just kept growing and growing, until moments later, he was having contractions and was in the middle of childbirth himself. Though there was a problem, the doctor was no longer there. He had died and claimed his place in hell beside satan's throne as the smell coming off of voldemorts, still wet hotdog was absolutely disgusting. Voldemort now had his kachi in a twix. On one side his sexy wife stalin was passed out, and on the other side his asshole doctor passed away. He didn't know what to do. He must call the T.H.O.T. Police.

             Before he had a chance to call, there was a wailing noise at his feet. It was his nose? What the hell was going on here he thought. It was his nose from human form. Shrek had given birth to Voldemort's nose. But how could this be possible. After racking his brain for a while, it came to him. The note that had been sent just two days ago from the Wicked Witch of the west. It had read:

Good day my daddy slut. I see you have decided to betray me by giving back my love child and going to that Stalin whore of yours. However, I will not rest, I shall get my revenge. I am now to wed the King Hitler and give birth to his heir, Peppa Pig of the Espagnola. For your betrayal I shall curse your baby to give birth to your old nose that after seven days, if not returned to the mountain at Dora's house, will curse you and your family to become the hotdogs that were once shoved in Stalin's arse. I will guide you by first telling you that to break the curse you must cross the bridge with the grumpy old troll and steal the dog with a blog with which u will avenge your previous slut wife's hamsters' old toothbrushes pineapple.

Farewell ya filthy animal.

Darla the ruler of cummy ville nation.

            Oh no, thought Voldemort. His wife had now regained conscious. It seemed that they all must pack their bags as they are not going on a trip on their favourite horse carriage, zooming throw the dirt, little voldy and stalin. They must climb aboard to get ready to explore cuz there is a task to fulfill, little voldy and stalin. And so, when stalin gained conscious, Voldemort told him everything and they head on over to mars at the university of pigfarts. The wicked witch was thriving for Voldemort to come back while stalin on the other hand was still confused as Voldemort didn't tell her the entire truth about his past with the wicked witch. Stalin was told that they are going on the mission impossible because they are the collectors of zebra fish feces and that the must deliver them to the queen of horse town roads.

            And so, the adventure began. Voldemort screwed on his nose, and he screwed his wife while they walked towards the golden road. They carried all of the important stuff they needed like for example, cup coasters, pencil cases, nose snot, spongebob's wig, pewdiepie's pie as well as macbeth's side hoe. However they had left shrek behind, probably because they loved their child so much that they forgot him due to his irrelevance. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hope you guys are thriving like we are. Message us for traumatization concerns and more chapters you'd like to see. 

Cheers, 

Your favourite authors,

Duela and Dent Versace Napier