The Voldemort and Stalin Chronicles

CHAPTER THREE: The Threshold of Love Unfolds and the Limits of Love are Tested

Shrek cuddled up at Stalin's feet. They were on the trip to meet the Wicked Witch of the West at last. After their sweat-filled sessions in the Belgian Mundi Masala Giana Castle of the Blessed, they were finally kicked out due to the loud noises and disturbance they were causing to fellow Mundians, which resulted in an orgy taking over the country of Albarama Munchuraja. The King had gotten his nerves in a knot after he saw his daughter out with the Kingsmen and Knights doing it openly in the grass fields.

"Mr. Voldemort Sire, we are almost there but it seems there is a gentleman who is not willing to let us go through. He says something of a witch and the crossing of a bridge leading to a curse. What should we do." called out the Servant from the front of the Lamborghini Juventus Lexar 3600x that was being moved by the cows.

Voldemort replied, " oh, don't worry about that peasants, I will look at this issue, it's probably just an old relative of mine still angry at me from not giving dowry and my aunt who has a mustache's third husbands daughters best friends wedding". The kingsmen looked in confusion and said
"Ok sire, if you say so but it looks to me that this is probably not a relative of yours, or even of ours, or anyone's, I don't think this person is even apart of our disgusting human species, it looks kind of like when u swallow an entire watermelon without biting into it and then the chemical kinda shit things break it down from the sides and then you puke it back out and it's now grown hair all over it and is now yellow but not too yellow and a mix of green and blue but not too much"

Voldemort then spun his head dramatically and said "...Papi, is that..is that...is that youuuuu!" and right after he heard that description he ran towards the bridge in a hurry as if a turtle had lost all four of its feet. He got to the bridge and saw something he could never have imagined, it was the father, Ductlem Sobiara Roberlasta Paneeri Tikkala Musulala.

His father peered out from under the bridge holding the pet zebra that he had adopted from the country of Soviet Lukhshamir Peaninuys. "It is you. Finally my son. I see you are back from your journey to disappoint me and trust me you have not failed."

"Hello, father" replied Voldemort almost emotionlessly. "I have come here with my wife Stalin to avenge that wicked wench that took over my kingdom and gave birth to my child away in the North. Now please, let us go before you scar our children.

"You mortal fool. You think I'll let u past." he suddenly changed form from Voldemort's dad to Sarah.

Sarah the greatest evil on this planet. They were classmates from when they studied the art of industrially splitting apart homosapiens top form the now-famous fruit juice, humana organa flavoured raspberry juice with hints of ice ice baby.

Sarah snarled. "Well, why don't u look for ur husband and call me when you're ready to hand over the crown."

Voldemort whipped around as his world fell to his feet, His husband and children had disappeared. Voldemort then angrily performed a ritual where he sacrificed his virgin cow to summon the god of Cardi B's to bring a cave that will lead to mount Rushmore and they will be able to bring back the spirit of Stalin through an alternative body form.

He began with his spell.

Dhoom lakh lakh expelliarmus worm word pink shirt sorry flarg enforminuous spongeourt fartimus earlobumous Antarticawhatisulo Umummitinloianas tarantuals, bringeth back my loveth boy from the Netherlands who grants me great love and pleasure in greetings of the asylums of the great gods of manchestunder of south carolina beach.

SARAH WAS SHOCKETH TO THE CORE, SHE COULDN'T believe what her seven blind eyes had just seen. Her mind was blown as no one in the land of PillowFarts of Bethany LOoking chickens. Only one person has ever been able to cast that spell and that person was...was...was none other than David Beckham the old lover of Voldemort and to her, it had now seemed that Voldemort had inherited the specimens of when we were just birthed at the age of negative thirty seven years old. Was Voldemort the new wizard of oz, WAS HE THE NEW BEHOLDER OF ALL THE power that exists within the universe we had previously known it to be. Could Voldemort have been the most useless of the great lords? There was only one way from Sarah to find out. 

ATHOUR'S NOTE:

Shout out to our awesome editor and illustrator for the cover.

Enjoy reading.

My condolences for your eyes.