The days we all spent living in one house seemed to drag on despite the fact after three both Arin and Johnny left leaving Zacky, Brian, Matt and I with our own solitary rooms, which is where I spent most of my time, avoiding everybody else.
Then after a week I finally gave up on ignoring my guests and ventured downstairs offering to make everybody dinner that night, “We can sit out on the deck have a few beers and just chill.” I smiled warmly at the three of them.
“Yeah, that uh, sounds great Natalie.” Brian nodded watching me carefully, “You need to go to the store? I can go with you.” He offered but before I could accept his help Matt offered the same thing.
“Sorry Matt… I think I’ll take Brian’s help.” I responded quickly then looked back at Brian, “I’ll get my jacket and shoes, meet me at the car.”
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Matt
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As soon as they had both left I found a beer in her fridge and got one for Zacky too. “Now I really do think she’s mad at me… But I don’t know what I’ve done… All I want is for us to get together, I mean for crying out loud I’ve waited long enough haven’t I?” I spat angrily leaning back in the chair
Zack rolled his eyes, “Yeah… Sure… You’ve ‘waited’. Matt you broke her heart. Sure you’re our best friend but I’m not about to lie and pretend you’ve done nothing wrong and that you deserve all of her attention…. You’re just lucky she’s even talking to you after everything you’ve done.” He muttered, “Don’t start thinking that she wants you just because she used to… If you really really want it that badly, then you go after her instead of wasting your time staring at her like a lost puppy.”
I frowned staring at the wall just sitting there listening to him realising that maybe he did have a point.I couldn’t wait for her to come to me anymore. I had to give something back if I really wanted her to even consider it.
…
She had made her family’s spaghetti recipe, the same thing she used to make, the two of us, for dinner when we lived together. This time there were four of us around the metal table with a fire burning in the built-in pit at the centre, Natalie sat opposite me looking radiant in the flickering light, she made the fire seem warmer somehow as her blonde hair gently bounced every time she laughed at something Zacky or Brian had said. The food was just as good as it always had been but there was a bitterness there I didn’t remember, much like our friendship.
“So Natalie, do you plan on coming back to California?” Zack asked her.
There it was. The question I had wanted answered but hadn’t had the balls to actually ask her. Setting my plate down I leaned back in the chair sipping the beer in my hand and watched her carefully waiting for her answer, the entire time her eyes, those sparkling emerald eyes were staring straight back into mine.
“No. I have nothing to live for out there, no ties I want to hold onto.” She replied never breaking eye contact with me.
It stung worse than I could have even imagined to hear her talk like that. I knew I deserved it though, I deserved that and so much more and all of a sudden it clicked. When we had woken up next to each other in that bunk and I had done my best to deny what must have happened… I knew then how I had made her feel.
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Natalie
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Soon enough Brian and Zacky had gone back inside to go to bed but Matt and I had chosen to stay outside. We just sat staring at each other in an uncomfortable silence.
“Beautiful night isn’t it?” I had finally opted to break it.
“Yeah…. Very pretty.” His response came quietly.
A sigh escaped my lips. Standing up and walking around the table to sit next to him resting my head on his shoulder, “You know… I could have ties to Cali again.” I whispered gently sliding my arms around his waist staring up at the sky smiling a little as I felt his arm wrap around the back of my shoulders gently pulling me closer.
“I know… I don’t intend on forcing anything. I miss you though.” He murmured before I felt a light pressure on the top of my head
“I miss you too Matt.” I smiled giving him a gentle squeeze. I didn’t want this moment to end. We seemed to finally have reached an agreement. I was telling him he need only try to make things right and show me he wouldn’t abandon everything at the first dip in the road and I would pull him close refusing to let go and show him the love I had been nurturing all these years for him. Things were finally looking up after all this time and it was exciting.
