Synergy

Chapter Seven

In his room all alone, the door clasped and locked firmly behind him, Equinox yanked his shirt off and threw it at an armchair by the window. The shirt missed the chair and hit the window panes with an audible slap.

That reminded him.

He walked over to the window and pulled the blackout curtains together, covering the window in velvety darkness. He paused, his hands still gripping the curtain's fabric.

How could he have slipped like that? Over thirty years he'd held it together in front of Bay. He'd fought in battles with Bay before, and didn't lose his head afterward. What was so different this night?  Could it be they were closer to death tonight then any other battle?

Annoyed with himself, he ripped off his jeans and his underwear, tossing them in the general direction of his shirt. The buttons on the jeans clicked on the hardwood floor as they landed. Equinox barley noticed.

He collapsed his body on the bed, muscles and spirit tired from battle, mind jagged with the emotions he displayed in the Common Room.

Equinox closed his eyes. The image of Bay stretched out next to him in his bed eased in like a sweet mist dancing a lush waltz in his brain. He fantasized.

His hand, tattooed with a small pentacle near his thumb, slipping over Bay's bare, unmarked hip, caressing up Bay's side to his neck. A kiss, a suck, a lick. Bodies came to life.

Equinox slapped himself out of his own fantasy. No. No, this wouldn't do.

Equinox raked his hand through his hair so hard his fingertips dug into his scalp. He remembered Bay's ease in the Common Room, the way he encouraged Equinox's touch.

Could it be?

You might be surprised. Zander's words from early that night echoed in his head like a forgotten promise.

Had it only been hours ago Zander had spoken these words? It seemed like an age, yet it seemed only a moment.

Would Bay surprise him? If the vampire touched his best friend just barely, a flirt that could be mistaken as a misplaced jester? Would Bay take it further?

"No!" Equinox reprimanded himself out loud, pulling his dark, wavy locks in determination.

He wasn't going to do this. He wasn't the kind of guy Bay needed as a lover even if . .even if Bay wanted a man for a lover. No. He was too scarred. Too fucked up to become romantically involved with someone as sweet and innocent as Bay. If Bay indeed liked men, he needed one that was as light-hearted and unmarred as he was. Not a broody, fucked up vampire with a cold, icy family, a failed relationship, and a laundry list of emotional instabilities under his belt. He couldn't do Bay like that.

Bay loving him would be more a curse then a blessing. Like a cooing dove falling in love with a sulking serpent. No good could come out of it. No good for Bay's heart, anyway.

But even as he tried to talk himself into believing how bad he was for Bay, Equinox looked down to see his thumb subconsciously rubbing the place where Bay's lip had touched his wrist. It had been the barest brush.

He swallowed hard, he wanted more of that touch. Firmer, longer.

Equinox covered his head with his pillow as his eyes tugged close. He couldn't deal with this now.

Quietus was calling.

Bay looked into the mirror over the bathroom sink. The water ran icy cold, but he didn't pay it any mind as it rushed down the drain. He just stared at his reflection in the dimmed bathroom light. The water may have been running cold, but his emotions were running hot. All his eyes could focus on in the mirror was the place under his ear where Equinox had caressed him.

He'd never been touched by Equinox that way--he'd never been touched by anybody that way. So gently with such tender emotion. He'd dreamed of such a thing, but feeling it happen in reality was totally different then a daydream . . .or even a wet dream for that matter. Those he was used to. Equinox was forever the star of all of Bay's nighttime sexual adventures.

It had always been Equinox, ever since Bay was about ten years old. It had never been anyone else. He still remembered the day he first saw Noxy, sitting under a tree at twilight, waiting for his night classes to start. He's been listening to a Walkman; he'd only glanced up at Bay a moment, but the look was electric. It was love at first sight.

At least for me. Bay thought.

He'd asked his mother to be transferred to night classes. He told her he studied better during the Witching Hours, but really he just wanted to be close to Noxy. Bay's witch mother, ever a believer in letting kids being individuals, let her son transfer to night school. He was one of the only human warlocks in the classes, but Bay didn't care. He was there for a vampire. A handsome and mysterious vampire. 

That night when Equinox had been outed in a relationship with Zander, Bay thought his love would go forever unrequited.

A rock had landed in his stomach that night. Yes, he had felt horrible for both Equinox and Zander to be outed in such a cruel performance in front of an audience, but the majority of his sick stomach had been finding out Equinox was in love. In love with another man.

He'd never had the nerve to admit his feelings to his friend. Coming out as gay and admitting your undying love to a person was a lot for one sitting. Bay being the nervous type lent him to keep his love and his sexuality to himself. At that moment when Jake dropped he'd seen the two vampires kissing behind a tree, Bay had mentally kicked his own balls for never owning up to his feelings. But after the moment faded, his fear sank back in. And it was no use anyway . . .Noxy was with Zander.

As long as Equinox had been single, Bay could at least hope and imagine. That shocking night at the cocktail gathering had ripped Bay's dream cloud of love right out from under his ass. His dear Noxy was a lover to another man.

Every night when he saw Zander slip into Equinox's room before the dawn, Bay tried to not think about what they were doing in there. It made his heart ache too much.

Bay smiled at his reflection in the mirror. That was one thing he and Noxy had in common. Suffering in silence.

But now Equinox and Zander were over. Zander had a new lover and Equinox was single and alone. Slowly, Bay's index finger lifted to that spot under his ear. He ran his finger down the spot. He sighed, snatching up his toothbrush. He squeezed mint-blue gel on the bristles. He shoved the brush in his mouth and scrubbed, but his train of thoughts continued.

Yes, it still hurt a little to not be Noxy's first, but he would be satisfied if Noxy could be his first. And if he couldn't be the vampire's first maybe, by some miracle of fate, Bay would be his last.

The first soft-pink light of dawn crested over the sea, seeping into Bay's bedroom window. He still hadn't fallen asleep. His body ached with exhaustion from battle, but the real reason for his insomnia was his mind clinging obsessively to one single thought. Equinox.

He tossed to his side and closed his eyes, but all he could see in his mind's eye were Noxy's cerulean irises looking down at him in hypnotic longing as Bay sat in that wingback. 

Bay rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling, only to have fantasies of Equinox on top of him; their sexes pressed together, Equinox biting Bay's neck. He could almost feel Noxy's hot breath on his skin, the blood pulsing in their groins to a similar rhythm, their testicles tight flesh on tight flesh.

Bay's breath started coming in heavy pants.

He sat up in bed, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm.

Bay needed rest. He needed to sleep.

Finally, he decided to go to his favorite emotional vice. Music.

Bay grabbed his phone. He placed earbuds in his ears, moving the cord to stay out of the way of the one small hoop earring he wore in his left ear. He pulled up his "sleeping" playlist. Set on shuffle, the first randomly selected song was Celine Dion's "I Love You".

As the Canadian singer crooned about having the nerve to tell someone you love him, Bay pulled the comforter to his chin. Languid tears ran dawn his cheeks; soon he was finally asleep.