Letters that I'll never send you

And we're back

So hey guys.
What's up.
So my life's a total mess.
About two months ago, I moved out from my parents and went to college. I know. Wow. Go grace.
Anyways. Since the last update, I started dating that guy. Long story short, not to bore you with the details, I dumped him. In the end I always loved him more as a brother and platonic friends. WhAt HaSnT cHaNgEd is that I'm STILL crushing on my middle school crush. Big problem there tho. First he went to a different high school than me. Then stuff happened. I don't even know what happened honestly.  Now I'm going to an all girls school (by choice. It was my first choice school) and he's going to a school that's 2 and 1/2 hours away. That's not awful. AnYwAyS. He's confusing.
I got a tinder to meet guys around this new school. Did not expect for so many hot guys to be crushing on me lol. Most of them are pretty boring honestly. I've been in two dates. I really like one of them but I think he sees me as more of a little sister than anything.
Also, I'm INNOCENT. all these people wild yet I'm over here terrified to even kiss a guy.
So back to crush numero uno. He found out I had gotten a tinder and he was all protective over me. Awww sweet right? AnYwAyS I thought me and him were just friends until recently we weren't? We aren't dating but it's like a mutual "hahaha I kinda caught feelings for you oops" kinda thing. We flirt a lot but since he lives a ways away I can't exactly just go and see him.
Ever just craved cuddles because that's me right now. I want either of the guys just to come over so we can cuddle and watch YouTube.
I'm emotional vacant at the moment. I just want someone. Not necessarily a relationship but I just wanna just go hug them and go.
Sad boy hours honestly.
I'm tired of typing now.
Maybe I'll start posting but don't hold your breath.
XOXO